Adopted, Neglected, Raped and Created Mums Advice

I want to tell you my story and why Mums advice was created xGemx

I was born in Colchester the youngest child of 4 to an alcoholic mother (she was pissed out of her head giving birth to me lol) I lived with her and my older siblings, my mum would go out and leave us for days on end, my older sister (8) kept us going with tomato ketchup sandwiches for the older ones and sugar-water for me. One day she had been gone for 4 days and the neighbours heard me crying none stop, the police were called and I was rushed to hospital with malnutrition and pneumonia I spent a long time in Colchester hospital fighting for my life.

I was then placed in foster care with one of my siblings.

When I was nearly 4 me and one brother were adopted by a lovely couple and moved to a tiny village. Everything was great.

When I was 13 I wanted some extra spending money so asked at the local Indian restaurant to do some odd jobs wiping tables, washing up etc all was fine until a few weeks later when 5 of them locked me in the store cupboard and raped me. I was 13 and they told me to come back next week or they would show my mum and friends the pictures they had taken.

I was young and dumb and didn’t know that had I told someone it would have stopped there… It continued for 2 more yrs and I still beat myself up that I allowed it to continue.

It affected my home life I was moody and angry I started experimenting with drugs was anorexic and was self harming, I was expelled from school, I even blamed my wonderful caring parents, had they not adopted me I wouldn’t have been raped although I never said this verbally I treated them appallingly!

Aged 15 we moved I was free, but my demons followed me, my head was a mess I looked for comfort in drugs and love from the wrong people, eventually aged 17 I had enough and told myself I was a lesbian and sort comfort in woman. The phase didn’t last long..,.

I got a job in a care home for the mentally ill and loved it I ended up becoming a qualified mental health nurse.

Aged 21 I met a man I became pregnant with my son Harrison, although the relationship didn’t work out due to my insecurities etc. Becoming a mum saved me, the love I had for that child stopped my anger, lifted my self-worth.

Aged 22 I tracked down my biological father and my lost siblings (have no interest in my mother).

When my son was 2 I met someone new and jumped straight into a relationship even though I wasn’t ready I had 2 children by him and the relationship was loveless and abusive.

When my middle son Elijah was 7 months old he had a cot death and after 15 minutes of resuscitation he took a huge breathe, he suffers with sleep apnea now and will stop breathing if he’s unwell or run down, he is also on the autistic spectrum and has dyspraxia but such a funny kind boy.

Me and the little twos dad split 3 years after him cheating on me, he has walked out of his children’s life and has caused me countless problems including reporting me to the police for attacking him with a bag of wellies (if he was gonna get me arrested for something I didn’t do he could have made up a better lie lol) .

I now am a single parent to 3 wonderful children

I suffer from PTSD, but i am strong, I fight each day, I have a great sense of humour and love helping others.

I look back at my past and things could be so different but I’m using my experiences to help others which in turn helps me, Mums advice means so much more to me it’s not just a page or website, it’s bringing people together and people like myself who struggle to say what happened to them out loud can write their feelings down and find people who may be able to help or understand.