Can I have a pp on the private chat page please?
Around 1pm this afternoon, my 5 month old baby rolled off my bed. I changed his bum, placed him in the middle of my double bed, walked out the bedroom to grab his bottle from the kitchen, which is the room next door, and as I turned to walk back into the bedroom I heard the bang and he started screaming. I was out the room for around 5/6 seconds in total. After picking him up I had a panic attack which I managed finally to calm down from after a good ten minutes. He screamed and screamed and himself calmed down after around 5 minutes. I took him straight to a and e and he was checked over and I was told he was fine. No bruising, swelling or marks on his head, all his limbs were fine, no vomiting, no unconsciousness, pupils dilated fine and he was happy, active and smiling. My bed is only around a foot and a half tall and I have carpeted floors so they weren’t overly concerned. They questioned me and sent me home telling me to keep an eye on him. I know I should feel relieved, but I don’t. I’ve never felt like such a bad person in my whole life. Everytime I look at him, I cry. He depends on me to look after him and I let him down today in the worst way. I should of known better than to leave him on the bed. I can’t seem to move on from this. I’m terrified somethings going to happen to him, like a delayed reaction or something. I have anxiety anyway and am exhausted from sleeping so little, and this is just going to make it worse. I don’t know what to do, I just feel like such a bad mum and I feel heartbroken that my baby felt pain because of something I did. I’m really struggling with this and I guess I just needed someone to listen. Thanks to anyone who read this to the end.