Can I have a ppp?
My partner and I are pregnant with our first child (14+3 weeks) and it will be the first grandchild for both of our parents, so obviously a very exciting time for all of us.
This is, unfortunately, being overshadowed by a female friend of my boyfriend’s.
She’s friends with my bf and his best friend, so they’d often go on holiday as a three, but then his best friend got a girlfriend and my boyfriend met me, so obviously the group dynamics changed a little.
He and I moved into our own place and now we have our surprise bundle of joy on the way.
As soon as we made the announcement, it was clear that she wasn’t happy about it, asking if it was a joke and demanding to see pregnancy tests.
She’s extremely controlling and makes constant sly remarks, sometimes pretending to be jokey, but I can see that she has a problem with me. These can be anything from bashing every single baby name idea we have, to telling me that I cannot buy baby clothes until we find out the sex and even ‘joking’ that she’s going to tell our baby when it’s old enough that we didn’t want it.
My boyfriend thinks it’s part of her depression and because she’s 8 years older than me, still lives with her parents and hasn’t had a serious relationship since she was 18 (she’s 34 now), so he believes there’s a bit of jealousy there as I’m 26 and appear to have everything – the job, the car, the house, the boyfriend and now the baby.
It’s a very odd scenario as she, for want of a better phrase, completely kisses my arse and claims we’re ‘best friends’ but then constantly makes these underhand remarks that make me feel like she’s trying to bully me and ruin every aspect of my pregnancy. It’s got to the stage where I don’t want her in our home but my boyfriend, who is the nicest guy in the world might I add, hates confrontation and although says that he’s by my side 100%, he just wants everyone to get along.
I’m on pins wondering what she’s going to concoct next, as she sometimes just shows up at our house. Oh and her most recent move was to organise a mountain climbing holiday for her, my bf and his best mate, even acknowledging that she knew I wouldn’t be able to go, therefore purposely trying to exclude me.
As it stands, I’m of the mindset to just wait for her next move and then confront her on everything and tell her exactly how I feel, but knowing her as I do, I’m confident that she’ll turn it around and make it seem like I’ve invented the whole thing and make herself the victim.
We had a party to celebrate our baby news and my friends and family even picked up on her strange behaviour, observing that she didn’t take her eyes off me all night and stood constantly in ear shot of all my conversations.
I know it sounds crazy, but any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.