Domestic Violence-story-HELPLINE

Living with domestic abuse…
In 2001 when I was 16 I met some one who I fell instantly In love with.

He was 6 years older than me, had a good job and was charming and good looking.
After a few months I moved in with him (he had his own house).

That’s when I found out he was into Cocaine.

Over the next year I managed to get him to stop using it, which was great.
Within a year of us being together I had several warnings from people about him, 2 were his ex partners.. telling me he was controlling abusive etc

Did I listen? Of course not, I was a 17 year old naive girl, who was head over heals in love!
End of 2003, he was out with friends, I stayed home, but at 10.30 I needed to nip to the shop, as I got back 10 min later he had just got home, he dragged me up the stairs calling me a whore and “he knew” where I had been.

That was the first time he became aggressive. Of course the next day it was “sorry” “love you” blah blah
Few months later we were both on a night out, one of my male friends from school was there, I hadn’t seen him for months and were talking about his mum and dad, well steven** didn’t like that, so when we got home, he hit me and told me to leave, I had nowhere to go, so refused, he dragged me in the garden and locked me out in my strap top and pants, my neighbour heard me, so I pretended that I had got my self locked out.
Surely by this point I should have left? But I loved him.
Over the next year small things happened, but then I found out I was pregnant. I was so scared. I wanted to leave but I didn’t have any one or any thing. So I stayed.
But steven** changed. He couldn’t do enough for me, told me he loved me every day stopped drinking.. could every thing be ok? I believed it could so we decided to start fresh.
**ethan was born in 2005. He was tiny but beautiful, and **steven was an amazing dad.

We moved house in 2006, then it started again, the names, a slap here and there.
In Aug 2007 we went out for his work Xmas party, his cousin was baby sitting

At 11 I wanted to go so he got his best friend to drive me home. He got home about an hour later. I was holding ethan* as he had woken upset. The next thing I know I was being dragged to the floor kicked and punched with my baby in my arms! Thank god ho cousin was there, she called the police, and he was arrested..

This last incident gave me the strength to leave because my baby was so very close to being hurt by him.
I was heart broken .
10 years on I’m happily married with 3 more children to a man that respect me, loves me and would not even raise his voice. There ARE good men out there.
Remember, you may not feel strong now, but one day you will, there are decent men/women out there who are not abusive, who respect you, who will love you like you deserve!
Here are some numbers if you ever need help.
24 hour national domestic help line:

0808 2000 247
Samaritans

116-123
**names have been changed