Hi, can I have a private post please? A little bit of a sensitive subject so no bashing.
I’m 21 years old since being 14, a lot has happened that has affected me emotionally. I met a boy who was 20 (my first boyfriend) and he turned out to be abusive. I don’t really want to go in to details but I managed to escape and he stalked me for awhile once we broken up and then we haven’t seen each other since. So I’ve recently found out his girlfriend is pregnant. I’ve convinced myself I’m not bothered. My parents have got divorced and the family establishment I grew up in has kinda fallen apart with siblings and parents taking sides and not talking to each other. Again I’ve tried to convince myself I’m not too bothered, I won’t take sides and I’ll be civil with everyone. I also have a boyfriend I’ve been with now for a few years who is my absolute rock.
But a few month ago, I just stopped being myself. I didn’t want to get up in a morning, I lost my sex drive and I’d cry all the time. For nk reason what so ever. I was diagnosed with depression and took my first lot of tablets (4 weeks worth) to see how I went.
Now I hate people who blame everything on mental illness, if someone is sad, they’re allowed to be sad, you don’t need to automatically diagnose them with depression and turn them in to another statistic. In my opinion I think there’s too many people that blame mental health (which is really serious) on feeling sad, or not being bothered. Anyway I decided to stop taking my tablets as I felt better and didn’t want to be “that person” just cos I was feeling a little low.
Well I feel the same now, but worse it’s been about 7 or 8 weeks since my diagnosis and I honestly feel like packing my things and leaving today. I don’t know where to, I don’t know why but I just feel I’ve had enough of everyone and everything. I keep having nightmares, I’m not sleeping too well. I’ve started to drink nightly (not a large amount, just enough to settle me). I’m having panic attacks and I honestly just don’t know what to do. Can I please have some advice?
Thank you so much xxx