Hi can I have a private post please?
I’ve got an 8m old baby,I breast fed for 5 weeks (well,expressed as couldn’t feed by breast as she was prem)
This has never really bothered me until today….
I saw a mum breastfeeding her newborn,and inside I was burning with jealousy….I wanted to break down in tears as I sat feeding my baby formula…All I wanted to do was breastfeed my baby and I couldn’t even manage one feed,It’s never bothered me this much before,but it really hurt me today,I wanted to cry as I fed my baby that formula knowing how badly I wanted to breastfeed and I still do…part of me wants another baby in future,not just so I can breastfeed,but part of me feels like I’m a failure for feeding formula…it’s nothing against other ff mums it’s just I feel awful I couldn’t breastfeed when I’d dreamt about breastfeeding my baby and having the closest bond possible…I love her to pieces and I’m glad she’s getting what she needs but today I just felt overwhelming jealousy like never before….I don’t know what the point of this post is tbh I guess I just need to get it off my mind…
– yes I’m diagnosed with PND and I have medication before anyone says “you should see your doctor”