Hiya can I get a post please I don’t know what’s going on with me about a year n…

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Hiya can I get a post please
I don’t know what’s going on with me about a year now I’ve been a completely different person, like one minute I’m myself next I’m a psycho, I loose my temper at any little thing, smash things up, hurt my partner, say the most vile horrible stuff, I get so upset for nothing and I think about killing myself, but I can’t I have 2 beautiful boys I’ve lost friends and family cause the way I am. The doctors have been putting it down to depression and I’m on the highest dose of anti depressants, been on them for a year and a half, feels like I’m wasting my time taking them. I’ve spoke to the doctors and they just pan me off with pills. I hate the way I am and how this is affecting me as a person, I just can’t cope anymore I’ve spoke to my health visitor also she tells me to go to the doctors. But they don’t do anything. I’ve tried speaking to my partner how I feel he doesn’t understand and can’t stick by me because I always loose it with him. He thinks it might be bipolar I have or another mental health illness.. I just don’t know what to do anymore I feel like doctors don’t help me and I need help for me my kids and my partner or I’m going to end up with nothing, what can i do???? Who can i get help from?? I can’t control the way I am? I’ve tried to much like leaving the room when I feel myself getting to the stage of loosing it, doing things that calm me down but nothing stops it
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