I Am An IVF Baby, Don’t Judge My Mum

My name is Sophie and I was born in 1996.

One Evening in March, when I was twelve, my mum and dad sat me down sat.

Being the kind of kid I was, I thought I was in trouble. They both looked anxious and very serious. In the months prior she had been giving me educational books and little mum and daughter talks about reproduction. Now, in retrospect, I realise it was to prepare me for this very moment.
I came into the world a different way

Together my Mum and Dad told me that I wasn’t conceived the way that my sex education teaching was teaching us about. They told me that I was very special. I was an IVF child, and what’s more, I was conceived using a donated embryo. To be honest, I was confused at first, but eventually I felt proud and happy that i must have been very much wanted.

 My mum couldn’t have children due to very early menopause. Doctors never found out why this happened, it wasn’t genetic.

Her five sisters had never had a problem.
As for my biological parents, for their privacy, I won’t disclose what led to their need to access IVF. However, after accessing IVF treatments they were blessed with triplets.

They were left with eight embryos, which they kindly decided to donate. I spent four years as a cluster of frozen genetic material before my parents were granted access to these donated embryos. I was the only embryo to survive and be successfully transferred.

It wasn’t until I was a grown woman that I realised that some people thought I was a freak of nature or my mother as a lesser being.

As a student midwife, I often found myself when on placement asking parents of multiples if they were IVF.
I remember asking one mum who had twins if they were from IVF. Her face filled with a kind of shame or fear and she looked at me like she wished at that exact moment I would disappear. She finally confirmed that they were IVF. I smiled and told her that I was to, she instantly looked relieved and the tension fled her face.

It was that moment I began to feel upset and even angry at the ridicule people like her and my mum would have experienced.
I know what it took to get me here, IVF is not an easy process, but these babies are much wanted.

Being a person of IVF has never made me feel ashamed or somehow lesser than others.

At times I felt it’s given me strength that I otherwise wouldn’t have.

I have never doubted that I was very much wanted, I’ve always known I was meant to be here on this earth.

It shouldn’t matter if a baby is conceived “naturally”, through IVF,insemination or surrogate, every baby is a blessing, do not judge our mums!