The other day I was told something from a friend that oddly made my heart so full.
“I am so scared of this virus. I wont leave the house, I wipe down everything, I stare at everyone and wonder if they are sick and its consuming. Then I realized this is how you feel every day about everything.”
I wasn’t expecting that last part. I immediately began crying.
For three years (since Lolas first surgery) we’ve lived like this. The CICU/NICU team did a great job teaching us about immunosuppression in our kid. “When you wash your hands do it for 20 seconds, up to your elbows and under your fingernails”. “Clean your phone regularly with alcohol prep pads. You would not believe where MRSA can live.” “Be mindful of door knobs, flushing toilets, pen pads, public counter tops, gas pumps and stainless steel.” “Wear a mask after sickness because your immune system is still very low”. “Stay indoors and away from public places like churches, museums & birthday parties during cold & flu season”.
I could go on. But the truth is when all this started I didn’t have to “stock up” as this is what this spot normally looks like. There is normally sanitizer at the door, kitchen, bedroom, diaper bag and car. We have spent the last three years practicing quarantine so she is use to it. I didn’t have to teach myself new habits. Hell, even my coworkers open doors for me without flinching because they know.
But just hearing, “I get it now” from someone is like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. People no longer think I am crazy. Eyes are open to germs and how they spread. The world (whether they like it or not) understands the importance of my child and measures they can take. I do hate that it took their families safety to realize that. But maybe after all this is done we can remember that for some of us this doesn’t end? So wash your hands, stay home when you are sick and appreciate the parent that is wiping everything down just to have a normal dinner in a restaurant like you. #LoveforLola