I Have An Eating Disorder, Not That You’d Know Looking At Me As I Look Healthy

I have an eating disorder, not that you’d know looking at me as I look healthy.

I went from a size 18 down to a size 8.

I suffer from stomach issues from severe constipation to gastric reflux which can last for days. Days of pain, sickness and not being able to sleep.

Why did I chose this life? Peer pressure, depression from losing pregnancies, I can’t pin point what exactly has caused this.

I’m always tired and drained, this is not what I wanted.

I see a lot of posts asking for ways to lose weight, I see people wanting to know the best laxative to help with weight loss. Please don’t do this ever!!

It started off as simple as using laxatives but moved on to something more. I violently purged everything I ate whilst desperately counting calories. I over exercised whilst causing myself to pass out.

It came to head when in the bathroom, crying in pain from my stomach being in intense pain I finally opened up to my husband, my rock the man who is always there for me. This was my game changer, after the initial being cross with me my husband became a strong support. He helps me not binge, not restrict and not over exercise. I have a moderate diet whilst still obsessing over the scales (though I’m better with it!).

For those out there suffering, please reach out to someone; friend, family or spouse. You deserve to be happy and not live in the vicious cycle.

Doctors are there to help, they can get you referred to the right places, you aren’t alone.

Just remember what your head sees in the mirror is not how others see you.

I know I couldn’t have got to where I am now without the support of my husband.