I Knew It Was Going To Happen I Came Last In The Charity Race

I knew it was going to happen.

I knew I was going to come last in the charity race.

I thought I was prepared for it.

But I wasn’t.

There is nothing wrong with coming last.

There really isn’t.

Unfortunately someone has to do it.

Each lap I cried.

10 fucking laps.

I cried because people had to pity clap me.

I cried because people had to wait until I was finished so they could pack up & go home.

They didn’t want to hang around waiting for me.

They wanted to do their own thing.

Be with their family.

Not watch some fat girl running.

Eventually I finished.

Everyone packed up & went home.

I cried & cried & cried in the car on the way home.

I cried to my husband.

I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up & felt ok.

Emotionally okay.

Physically I’m fucked.

I got on my phone and I saw them.

All the photos.

My friends all smiling.

My friends in groups with their medals.

Where was I?

I’m not in any of them.

I was still to finish.

I was still going.

I missed out.

But then I realised I had FINISHED, I crossed the line, I pushed myself, I may have come last, I may not be in any of the photos, but I carried on regardless, I did not give up, I did not give in, the more I run, the more i force myself to do better, the fitter, thinner and healthier I will become.

Coming last was a great thing because next year I won’t be in the same position, next year I WILL b in all the photos, not as an out of shape, fat, unhealthy woman, but as a woman who has fought to be there.

I did not give up and now I will push myself to do better.

If you are reading this and feel you are unhealthy or over weight do not give up,keep pushing yourself and you will get there.

Author: XGemx

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