17 weeks 3 days pregnant I was assaulted in the kitchen of my home by my ex and the ‘Father’ to my 3-year-old daughter. I was already having a bleed due to the miscarriage of her twin a few weeks before. I can’t go into detail about the assault but the baby’s waters ruptured. Going upstairs I discovered I was soaking wet and there was blood everywhere. The only thing I could think was “That’s it. It’s game over”!! I rang the hospital and was taken in.
I had internals,scans etc etc and then I was told “I’m so sorry Amie. The baby’s waters have ruptured and there’s nothing we can do but wait for the labour process to begin or have a medically induced termination”!! I was absolutely heartbroken 💔I decided to go home and wait for the inevitable to happen. I didn’t want to stay in hospital and I definitely didn’t want to kill my own baby!! I wanted to be at home with my daughters.
My ex partner was arrested from my home and me and the girls went to stay with my mum for a couple of days. I had a scan booked for 2 days later if I hadn’t gone into labour already. I hadn’t!! I went for my scan at Fetal Medical Assessment and they told me that the babies waters were definitely ruptured and that I had Placenta Preva. They told me my Placenta was completely covering the baby’s exit and that if I had wanted a termination I couldn’t have one anyway because the baby would have to be born by Csection or I’d hemmorage and quite possibly bleed to death!!
Scary times 😔Other than her Waters been ruptured my baby was doing well for now but it was early days so the problems wouldn’t kick-start straight away and I was told to prepare for the worst. I was absolutely shattered!! I never went into labour though. I didn’t know the sex of my baby till the day she was born because there was so little fluid we couldn’t see. Even through all the stress,the constant worry and the heartache I just wanted to know whether my baby was Team Pink or Team Blue 💜💙It was the ‘Normal’ things that kept me going.
Every 2 days I had to go into hospital for obs,blood test to check my infection markers etc. Always went okay. Never caught any infections despite constantly losing fluid and having bleeds all the time with the Placenta Preva. Obs were always good,baby was always active during scans and she was still alive. That was the main thing!! Fast forward to 20 weeks pregnant and going to my 20 weeks scan. Changes had started taking place. Her lungs were on the small side and her heart was slightly enlarged and she had Tepeles (Club foot) all due to lack of fluid.
I was then referred for all my scans to take place at Fetal Medical Assessment at the LGI and that would be where baby’s birth would be taking place as they were more equipped to deal with her birth there. I had Fetal Medical scans every week and although we had bad weeks we had some good weeks too but her prognosis was never good. They told me the chances were highly likely that Florrie wouldn’t make it out alive but if she did she would be Trachea dependant for the rest of her life and that her life wouldn’t be a long one. They told me she had an enlarged heart with fluid surrounding it (Possible Cardiomyopathy) Potters Syndrome,Teples and she would be born cramped up as she had been squashed with no water for however long the pregnancy went on.
I was sat down after one scan and told “Amie. We’re quite concerned that your developing Placenta Creta”. On the scan it had shown a space about as thick as a finger nail between my Placenta and previous section scar tissue and I was referred for a MRI the following day. I went home and did my research and didn’t like what I’d learnt 😔That night I had to go to hospital with another bleed. I had to go to hospital with every bleed as any bleed could be a dangerous bleed and I could hemorrhage at any time. They kept me in as the blood flow didn’t slow as quickly as it previously had before. I was carefully monitored and the MRI the next day went ahead.
Later that night back on the ward the man who did the scan came to see me with he’s team. I could tell by their faces that it was bad news. Luckily my mum was with me. I just blurted out “I’m attached aren’t I”!! 🙈They pulled the curtains round and all gathered around. He sat on my bed and he said “Amie.. I’m so sorry to tell you this but you’ve got Stage 4 Placenta Creta”! I’m sat there thinking about what iv read on the Internet and he’s saying summat about Stage 4. And I’m just thinking “What the fuck is he even on about”?? He goes on to tell me “Iv never seen anything like this in all my 30 years in medical practise and were going to have to draft in some doctors from oversees before we can even think about delivering your baby. Amie I’m so sorry to have to say this but your life is now at serious risk and we would strongly advise you and your family to prepare yourselves for the worst”!!
I can’t remember much after that. I just know I didn’t cry. I turned to my mum and she was just in absolute pieces. She was how I was when I was told Florrie might not make it. I gave her the biggest cuddle and I told her “Don’t you be sat there mum listening to these fukin idiots because I’m not going anywhere”!! I never shed not one single tear. I had to be the strong one now. I told them “I understood everything they had said and when could I go home”. He told me I could go home the next day providing my blood loss had stopped. It did and home I went. I carried on with life like you do and I just thought “Florrie’s what matters at minute and making sure I keep life as normal as possible for the kids”.
I didn’t tell my kids I might die. It’s something they didn’t need to know. Fast forward to 29 weeks 2 days pregnant by this point I’d learnt I had Placenta Preva,Stage 4 Placenta Creta,my Placenta was not only attached to my previous section scar tissue it was also attached to my womb,my Uterus, my Cervix. It was like a sling inside my belly (Their words) I got took into hospital with another bleed. I was put on the monitor and her heart rate and slowed and changes were taking place so I was admitted to the Labour Ward. My team came to see me and said a doctor from the Netherlands was on he’s way to England and he would arrive sometime early morning to assist the operation.
I would be going to theater at 11 o’clock 29th March 2017. I’m not going to lie I was absolutely shitting myself but I turned round and just said “OK love that’s good with me”!! He then told me I’d be kept on monitor all night and that I’d not to lay flat on my back. I sent my mum home for some sleep and told her to be back for 8 the next morning. I didn’t sleep that night I sat in the chair at the side of my bed cuddling a Pink furry rabbit babygro that both Ruby and Elsie had worn to come home from hospital in.. And I cried and cried and cried!!!
All I could think was “I might never see my daughters again. I might not even get to meet my baby. I might never see my mum, my brothers or my sister ever again. Next time they see me I might be laid there dead with my dead baby in my arms”!! I rang my mum and I said “Mum if me and the baby do die will you promise me one thing? That we get put together in the same coffin and if she’s a girl please call her Florrie after my grandma”.
My mum might lose not only her grand baby but her daughter too”!! And I’d just sent her home to get some sleep 😔I can remember going for a bath about 7 o’clock the next morning and then I was scanned at 8 o’clock.. Florrie had her leg in her hand and was putting it above her head. I can remember saying “She’s going to be a gymnast when she’s older and laughing with the doctor”!! My mum arrived at 8 and then at 9 o’clock I was scanned by my Consultant Tom so he could mark up where my incision was going to be.
Scan started I seen my baby move. We heard her heart beat although it was a little low and there was gaps between beats. I remember thinking “This might be the last time I ever get to hear that sound or see her image” then Tom goes “I’m just off to go get another member of the team”. I didn’t think anything of it. In they come scan continues sound gets turned off and he turns the screen to him. I’m just thinking he’s measuring up to see where I’m getting cut. One doctor goes out. Tom’s deep in concentration. He never said a word. There was a deathly silence in the room. Then something started to not feel right. I felt uneasy. Next thing so many doctors came rushing through the door they almost didn’t fit in the room. Their all gathered round the screen talking in hushed tones.
I just know somethings badly wrong here but I was so calm its unreal. Tom looks at me with the most saddest look. I said “Tom what wrong.. Something is wrong isn’t it”? He said “Amie I’m so so so sorry. Amie the baby has just gone”!!
Again that deathly blood curdling scream that left my body i will never unhear. I’d literally just watched my baby pass away on the screen 💔12 weeks to the day my baby had battled in the womb to stay alive and on the morning of her section she had passed away. Totally heartbreaking 💔My mum must have rung my family because I remember them turning up. I remember us all been outside. I can’t remember what got said or anything. I was a complete and utter mess!! I said bye to them all and I walked back up to the Labour Ward with my mum and my team were at front desk I said “I’m ready to go to theater now and have my baby”!!
I got out the outfit I wanted my baby to wear,the scenting blanket I’d spent the night scenting up incase I didn’t get to meet her and I passed the nurse her blanket and told her to make sure she was cleaned up,dressed and wrapped in her blanket for me. I was prepped for theater and I said my goodbyes to my mum just incase I didn’t see her again.. I was put to sleep. In theater I gave birth at 29 weeks 3 days to my beautiful baby girl Florrie-Mae born sleeping at 12.50pm weighing 1Ib 15.5oz on 29.03.17 💜👼
I lost my full body’s supply of blood, I had all my blood replaced,I had to have a Hysterectomy, my Uterus and some of my cervix was also removed. At one point they went out and told my mum I’d had a little girl and it got that bad in theater they told my mum things were really bad and they were doing all they could to save me but she had to prepare for the worst because it wasn’t looking good. She must have rang my family and they a turned up at that point. At one point they were going to give up but the doctor from the Netherlands stepped in and performed an emergency Arterial block and put me on a Self Saver machine.
I was in theater 8 and a half hours. I came out on full life support in an induced coma and transferred to ICU …. But I was alive. Only just. They told me it was a miracle. I now do believe in miracles 👌Can’t keep a warrior down for long. 36 hours later I woke up. As soon as the ventilator was out I said “I had a little girl didn’t I”? The doctor said “Yeah you did Amie”. I just said “I bloody knew it”! 🤣I asked when I could have her and they said as soon as we can get some of these tubes out of you so I said “Well you better make a start then haven’t you love” 😂 From waking up to leaving ICU it took me 2 hours. I wasn’t messing around lol.
Arriving at HDU they got me settled and then they brought my daughter to me. I’d waited so long for this cuddle. She got passed to me and I swear to god she was gorgeous. She looked like she had been crying 😢 I remember saying “I’m so sorry Florrie. I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you. But I promise you I’m going to fight like fuck for you baby”!!! And here I am. Fighting like fuck to get my daughter the justice she deserves. The man responsible for her death is going on trial in 2019 for charges I can’t discuss.
My Florrie will be 2 years and 2 months old when it takes place. Its been a long hard battle but iv got it this far and I don’t intend to give up now!! I promised Florrie she wouldn’t die for absolutely nothing and so I set up Florrie’s Army 💜 👼My daughter may not be here but she will sure never be forgotten. I believe she got given to me because she had some work that needed to be done and she picked me to do it 💕I got hand picked from Heaven by the most perfect little angel ever 👼She’s doing amazing things from Heaven and while ever I’m here Florrie’s Army will be here xxxxxxxx https://www.facebook.com/Florries-Army-In-Rememberance-Page-123309771943179/