I Wish My Son Was Never Born
Call Reddit user Dislikemythird a “horrible person” — and she’ll agree with you.
According to a recent post on the social media site, Dislikemythird loves her two daughters but does not like her 3-and-a-half-year-old son “at all.”
She explained:
It all starts with the fact that my daughters were very much planned and wanted pregnancies. My son was not. I didn’t realize I was pregnant until 16 weeks when I first felt the baby move.
She continued:
I sobbed my eyes out when I realized I was pregnant because I didn’t want to be pregnant again, hence the birth control, and it was too late for an abortion anywhere in my country. I probably would have had one, to be honest. Both my husband and I were pretty adamant we didn’t want more babies. I hated the baby/toddler stage with my daughters and with them being 3 and 4.5 at the time, it was like having a prison sentence extended right before freedom.
The Reddit user admitted that she was finally starting to really enjoy her two oldest children and finally got on the right path in her career. So when she learned that she was pregnant with her son, it threw everything off track again.
And to make matters worse, her son never slept through the night. He suffered from reflux and colic, and she said it nearly ruined her marriage:
I can honestly say it nearly broke my husband and I’s marriage apart. At one point, we didn’t sleep in the same bed with one another for months, because we had to take shifts sleeping at a friend or sibling’s home with the girls because he screamed that badly they couldn’t sleep. We tried numerous doctors, and nothing helped, we just had to wait for him to grow out of it.
She and her husband resented their son for so much, and she admitted they even wished horrible things on his health and considered adoption at one point. But how could she explain keeping two and giving away one?
She wrote:
I don’t want to be insensitive to anyone who has suffered a loss in this way, but I have to be honest, my husband and I both had a period where if he had of died in his sleep, we would have felt relief. At one point, I googled if we could still put him in the “baby hatches” our country has. He was too old. But again, how would we explain to everyone, including the girls, why we had a baby and then suddenly didn’t. I sobbed. I wished more than anything I realised I was pregnant earlier and could have had the abortion I wanted. I feel like my ability to bond with him was shot to hell by the fact he was just such a difficult baby. I honestly hated him for the first 18 months of his life.
Dislikemythird acknowledged on Reddit just how awful it sounded to say that she “hated” her own son and that while she loves spending time with her daughters and doing things with them, she only does things for her son because she has to:
Now he is three-and-a-half years old and even though he has now outgrown all that, and is pretty chill, I still just don’t like him. I am struggling to bond with him or even like him because I’m having trouble separating him from the memories of my marriage almost falling apart and my career being absolutely destroyed by having him and just the feelings that he was “forced” onto me by a birth control failure. My husband isn’t struggling to the same extent as I am, but has confessed he wishes our son “didn’t happen” because things were “better” before. Things have also been a lot more financially strained, and there he fact that we now have three kids to provide for and not two. Thankfully, we managed to save our marriage, but we both agree that we’d undo our son in a heartbeat if we could.
The Reddit user continued by saying she has visited two therapists since her son’s birth, and all of them simply told her to “fake it till she made it,” but that hasn’t worked in her.
Again, I am well aware I am going “mess him up” and he’ll grow up feeling like the least favorite child and all of that. I feel guilty about it and don’t want to feel this way, which is why I’m here.
Dislikemythird is hoping that by being honest about her feelings toward her son, she can get advice from someone who will make her feel differently about her son. She hates feeling this way and understands that he deserves better from her.
You know what all your children should equally matter tell your girls your a failure and couldn’t handle it your lying to them already and there not even 4 give him to a good home where you don’t wish death apon a baby that barely knows how you feel it can’t talk he shouldn’t be in your care that’s for sure when he gets older he will see this and you will cause more hurt to him than you ever felt adoption is the best for him and not you guys fuck I’ll have him just do that right thing
Spot on poor little soul
This is horrible that poor little boy yes maybe u want ready to have him but he never asked to brought into the world either and hating him as a baby that’s just evil he could not tell u what was wrong or what he needed etc and as for now he is 3 I think u n ur hubby need to think clear bout this as ur gonna fuck that little boy up if you don’t want him give him to a family that do want him a lot of women would give anything to be able to have a child and here’s u conceiving a child u don’t want and they do say contraception is not 100% he has done nothing wrong poor little boy and wishing he would die in his sleep or something think u should die in ur sleep thinking such horrible things about ur own child people like u make my blood boil
I can adopt your son if you don’t want him I am give him the life he deserves he does t need to feel unwanted unloved or that hatred from anyone
Agreed contact if u want anyone to adopt him I have 2 girls already and I’d have him in a heart beat x
I can’t even understand what i have just read.
Please take him to social services.
Even better bring him to me and i will cherish your angel.
A defenceless baby who unconditionally loves his mother with every inch if his body.
You are his protector his love his life.
Keep your legs shut in future.
May that little boy be protected and never remember the way you have spoken or treated him.
Amen
I know what it’s like to be an unwanted baby. My mother got pregnant on the pill with her teacher. She has told me how she wasn’t ready and she wishes she could have lived her life and it’s really crap. Its crap knowing that no one wanted you on this earth not even the person who brought you in to the world. I went through a while when I really struggled with this fact I would never wish this apon anyone.
You don’t deserve him you utter excuse for a mother and father, stuff having to explain to people that you’ve given him up, let him be adopted by a real family one that will love him the way you are incapable of doing, before you do any more damage!!!
All children deserve parents not all parents deserve children comes to mind. Horrible excuse I hope you die and the child gets fostered be so much better for him
Utterly shocked at this! Your son is a defenseless little creature and he already feels you don’t love him and and you deal with him without love. You should def have invested in serious therapy in order to sort yourself out rather than thinking the baby is difficult. Every baby bus different. But a mother and father cannot just choose which kid they will ‘mess up’ it’s his life we re talking about. It seems like there has already been some serious abuse happening. I wouldn’t trust a mother who wishes death upon her child. My son is full of energy and he is a tough one to deal with and even if I’m not ready for another baby my heart would just melt if I could be blessed with another life that depends on me entirely. Get yourselves sorted out.
In fact the colic and sleeping problems are a sign he is already suffering because of the way you treat him! Babies need love and care. I feel so so much for this little boy
This was what came to my mind straight away. Not winding him properly after feeds would cause colic, so that just says it all. Social services should be looking into this. Neglect is coming across strong.
Give the little boy up in fact give all 3 up you don’t deserve to be parents I struggled with my kids I had 5 at the age of 21 aged 5 n under and a single parent but I never once wished them dead or singled any one of them out I loved them with all my heart they all got treat the same I struggled financially I couldn’t have a career but who cares they had food clothes a roof over there head and all the love in the world either give you head a wobble are give them to someone who will love and care for them for the rest of there life
Give all 3 of them to a home that they deserve, hating your son is one thing but wishing him dead 😳, I will have him, I feel so sorry for him, he’s going to grow up with so many problems and they will only be caused by you & your husband, he will probably get bullied because of the way your making him, I’m literally in tears reading this, wow, there some children out there that shouldn’t be in the care that they are 😭
I really really want to take him off your hands, I’m so shocked by the stuff I have read, I really do feel sorry for your 3 children growing up to hear about all this 😭, bless them, women need to learn to shit there legs instead of abusing Childrens lives 😔
Get a grip you selfish woman do you think he would want to be in your life if he had a choice get your head from up your arse a get him looked after properly or give him to a human being a stop looking for excuses for you being a terrible mother
Plus what the hell are you teaching your precious little girls
This woman has asked for advice and you’re all going on a witch-hunt. Don’t you tell me that you’ve never regretted having your chidren only to feel like an absolute shit of a human for feeling that way a second later. This woman needs help and she has put her hands up and bared all to you people which must have been fucking scary to be that vulnerable especially knowin how much backlash she would receive. She is trying to do the right thing now and your all sat their on your high horses. You’re fucking disgusting. To whoever wrote this I’m so sorry and I can’t help you but I think your doing the right thing. By being totally honest you have brought the problem out into the light and hope you can fix it even if you have to wade through a bunch of close minded interest trolls first. You have shared your story because you are asking for help not for attention or because your happy or proud of it. I hope you get the help you need and keep your chin up until then. Do whatever you have to do you can’t live the rest of your life or your children’s or husbands lives in such a toxic way.
Thank Christ an intelligent response!!! I reckon this lady is suffering from depression. I know a girl who was treated for depression throughout her 3 pregnancies as she would be suicidal.
This lady needs help and support not abuse. She is reaching out for help by revealing her innermost thoughts and secrets.
There were plenty of times over the last 26 years that I wished I could change things and as you say instantly kicked myself and thought I blessed I was with the two that I have.
I hope this lady will visit her Doctor and get the help she needs x
I have read through so many of these comments and was wondering if anyone was going to notice that she may need help – because let’s have it right, being a parent is hard and we should all be helping and supporting eachother , not slating mistakes and feelings.
I hope this is one step closer to her letting her resentment go. I think it would be worth going to see a doctor, maybe it’s a baby blues-pronatal drepresstion-to standard depression.
Maybe one day you can look into your boys eyes and realise that none of this is his fault and maybe the more you feel excepting of it, the more loved and comfortable he’ll feel and you’ll learn to enjoy him like you do your girls.
Not all women out there are so judgemental and unsupportive.
Im so glad I found a comment I can agree with.
I do hope that since this post has been written that you have found help (the right, caring and uplifting kind of help) and that your family has healed from this terrible trial you’ve all had to endure.
I don’t think parents , especially moms, should hate on each other like this. Telling this mom you wished she died means you are breaking her down even more and could cause three little kiddies to be left without a mom.
Im praying for you lady! I hope you all find peace, forgiveness and that the Unconditional Love of God floods your hearts and home. Courage ! Strength ! Endurance, regardless of the fatigue !
Omg so shocking to hear this theres people out there who cant have children the best thing you can do is give them a better home all three of them you should treat all your children tbe same ill have the little boy
i myself had a serious bonding problem with my oldest girl, i didnt develop normal lovey dovey feelings towards her, i sought help from professionals, an to this day i struggle, i struggle to give everything, my all to my baby…its such a horrid deflating feeling like you know you should be doing more but you just cant, i think a better parent would seek help , dont give up on your son he didnt ask for this either xxxx
Chantelle I’m sure you’re a great mom. None of us are perfect parents. I too struggled with my first born due to post natal depression. I felt like i must be the shittiest mother on the planet. She is now 25 & my absolute princess.
Stick with it honey. The fact that youre trying is proof that you love her. All will be well. Xx
Harsh as this post seems, you really need to look beyond the words. The raw honesty of posting this and asking for advice shows that the mum knows she needs some help and therefore recognises that things are not the way they should be between a parent and child. The two therapists you have seen are really not helping with their croc of **** advice! You need to see your doctor and really explore your feelings. No one has the right to judge you until they have walked in your shoes.
I suffered severe antenatal and postnatal depression with my second baby and some of the crazy ideas of what I needed to do were extreme. My beautiful ‘baby’ girl is now 14 and once I was helped through my depression, the sun came out and our relationship has gone from strength to strength and I could not imagine my world without here. I occassionaly feel guilty about the thoughts and feelings I had during my late pregnancy and her early months but have to remind myself that my mental health was suffering.
I hope you manage to build a strong relationship with your son and forgive him and yourself for the early struggles.
❤❤❤❤❤ perfectly put x
Firstly i have a newborn baby boy and i couldn’t imagine ever feeling like this towards him but i do know that my own mother had these feelings towards me and it lasted for a number of years and still now we dont have a normal relationship, her behaviour effected me deeply! I think you’re very brave to open up and ask for help as it couldn’t have been easy! But i also know from experience how this can go so i really think you need to seek more help and if you really cannot feel love towards him then you need to find a family that can as it will only damage him more, trust me i know!
All 3 of your children should be taken away from you. You do NOT deserve the title of MOTHER. A mother is patient and kind, she’s understanding and gentle. You should be soothing your children’s fears, not creating them. A mother is forgiveness and a mother is UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. You’re none of these. How dare you speak about your little boy like this!!! There are a multitude of woman who pray every single day for the gift of a child – you have 3 that you take for granted. You have 3 beautiful children who look up to you for guidance. They love you so much, but it means nothing to you or their excuse of a father. Dads are supposed to be their children’s heroes. I feel so sorry for both of you, because neither of you will ever know what it truly feels like to be a Mum or Dad. Do the right thing and allow them to be adopted into families who will love, nurture care for them the way they deserve
So my comment got deleted because I was sympathising for the mum and not just the baby…
Stupid whore she don’t even deserve any kid😡😡😡
That poor little boy is going to grow up SOOO messed up. I can’t wrap my head around the fact that her and her husband wished illness and death upon a poor innocent little baby. The wrong people are the ones who have no problem at all conceiving. It’s just not fair. They’re not fit to be parents to any children. I literally cannot believe what I have just read. I’m actually in tears.
And if her and her husband were so adamant that they didn’t want any more babies why didn’t he get the snip or why didn’t she get her tubes tied? If that was too extreme for them there is such a thing as the morning after pill!!
You obviously didnt read the story. She was 16 weeks before she realised she was pregnant. Her birth control had failed
You are one horrible person!! That poor child growing up with a mother that doesn’t love him! It’s your fault you’re a grown woman you know the risk of having sex! You don’t deserve him! I’m only eighteen years old and I’m much more wise than you are you evil person! Even though I’m young if I accidentally became pregnant I would love my baby with everything I have no matter what, I would do everything I could for them and if they were sick I would feel sorry for the baby and not my self! Just because you’re missing a few hours sleep so is the baby and he’s in pain! So selfish, I have never ever wished death on anyone not even my worse enemy and you wished it on your own child.. don’t deserve to have children atall, I can’t understand you what so ever, it is not the baby’s fault you weren’t more careful with protection and it’s not his fault he’s ill.. horrible horrible person! You should of gave him up for adoption for all the couples that can’t have children and they would actually love your son, some people would do anything to have a baby and you’re wishing death apon yours!!!! You are a twisted person and you should be put in a mental hospital cause you’re not right in the head, you disgust me.
Omg that’s terrible.. the cheek of them…
You don’t deserve to have kids you horrible person! Give him up to a family that will love him and stop making him suffer.
I think it’s absolutely disgusting that you even thought about having an abortion at 16 weeks. He’s a proper little human at that point, anything from 8+ weeks is just a no go. You’re a pathetic excuse for a mother and a father & you seriously don’t deserve your children.
There are people out there who can’t have children and you’re taking full advantage of what your body can do. You’re a vile vile woman… actually you’re not even a woman because no lady would say that they wish their child dead. Adopt him if you so badly don’t want him but do us a favour and adopt your daughters as well because you 100% do NOT deserve to have children. Disgusting people! 😡😡
Having a son that passed away before this honestly broke my heart that u are putting a man before your son talking about it almost broke up my marriage and your daughters sound like spoiled brats taken them to friends houses to sleep cause of the baby that’s ridiculous give that baby away he deserves better and u don’t deserve him either choice your going to fuck him up mentally shame on you who tf raised you and your husband.
You do not deserve children, I worry what happens behind closed doors if this is the way you speak about your kids! All of them! Social services should be involved in something like this because that little boy is definitely at risk! Your his mother can you imagine what this is going to do to him? You need to give all of your children up, no matter what people go through in their life, what their circumstances are, single, in a relationship, young or old our babies should always and I mean always come first! I worry what you could do to this little boy considering you dislike him so much , wishing death upon your own son ? When some people out there would do everything and anything to be blessed with three beautiful children, give them all up and live a life just you and your disgusting husband and let some body give these children the love and life they deserve! I can’t get my head around this. I hope when you read these comments you realise you should never have been a mother !
Well done to you, for having the confidence to share how you really feel. I hope it was like a weight lifted off your shoulders. To be a good mother you have to be selfish first, you can’t take care of 3 children if you can’t first take care of yourself. You seem to be struggling and that’s okay, the strength it takes to admit that is amazing. Get the help you feel you need for you and your family.
Oh fuck off.
Hope this bitch dies of fucking cancer for being such a disgusting piece of shit. Someone should take her daughters away from her for being such a cunt.
What a heartbreaking situation,for EVERYONE involved. I’m not a doctor but it sounds as if you (the mother) may be experiencing postnatal depression, and may in fact have experienced it with your girls too.
It is hard growing up knowing you were not planned/wanted, so your son is going to need some help dealing with this as he gets older. Your daughters may also need help to work out their feelings towards their brother as they will undoubtedly have picked up some of the negative feelings in the household.
I am glad you have managed to hold your marriage together and your husband also needs to seek some help in this situation.
My advice would be to get some therapy from someone who will let you explore your feelings for your son in a non-judgemental way. If you have experienced PND then you may find that you can ‘begin again’ with your son once you have separated your fears for your marriage from your experiences with your baby boy.
If you truly feel you cannot give him what he needs, fostering or adoption may be better in the long-term. You would need to explain this to the girls, particularly to reassure them that they are loved and that it is not their fault or your sons. Sometimes things just don’t work out as you would hope.
You cannot let this situation fester but I do feel for you all. Please seek help, for yourself and your son.
God bless.
This is really bad and digusting to read .but i urge you to go get some apporiate help for the sake of your son who never asked to be born even when he was in pain you didnt care please dont leave this any longer to get worse he needs you to love him care for him its all he asks for
Next time think before you have sex! It’s not his fault he was born, and your husband and yourself ruined your marriage don’t blame an innocent baby!
This is absolutely disgusting and I don’t care if it hurts your feelings, you’re hurting your poor sons feelings and he doesn’t deserve it! Having a baby is such a blessing and people don’t understand this?! You said you found out at 16 weeks that you was pregnant and you wish you could of had an abortion?!! I gave birth to my stillborn daughter at 17 weeks and wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. You should be absolutely ashamed of yourself and you don’t deserve any of your babies! Do the right thing and give him up for adoption, to people who will love, appriciate and adore him, he deserves way better than you…
This is heartbreaking, for the boy and for yourself. It’s good that you’re trying to get help. I know this will sound silly but instead of telling yourself every day that you don’t like him etc, you need to tell yourself you do like him and love him, and even tho it’s not true atm, if you tell yourself enough times it will become true and you’ll start to feel and care for him… i know it sounds far fetched but it’s very effective. Try doing things with him that you enjoy doing, force yourself to try and bond, you’ll be surprised. How you’re feeling now, is how he will be feeling, but he’s so young he won’t know why, he won’t understand anything, all he’s feeling now is that he’s not loved and has no idea why. Try and feel the pain he’s feeling and it might help trigger something in you. I really hope for both your sakes that you can like/love him, before it’s too late and he’s permanently damaged. If not, I’ll have him 🙂
Okay firstly…where are social services? Not only to help that poor defencless little boy! But to help you…you clearly have mental health problems! Secondly…if you didn’t want anymore kids you should have been sterilized (why didn’t you?) you CAN NOT blame that amazing little boy on what YOU did wrong! You CAN NOT blame that incredible miracle of a baby on YOUR mistakes! And YOU most certainly SHOULD NOT be allowed to keep not only that beautiful angel but those 2 precious girls either! You are incapable of being parents and I know there are plenty of women/men out there with more than enough love to give them babies the upbringing they deserve…with LOVE! UNCONDITIONAL PURE LOVE!!!
A little too harsh…I’ve lost a little boy myself and this breaks my heart…I think you need some desperate help….I’m sorry if I upset you, I believe that if your feeling this way after 3 years…I think it’s time to accept that he will be better off in someone else’s care. ..for everyone’s sake. I hope you all find the happiness you deserve.