It Can’t Be Rape As We Are In A Relationship

I have been with my partner nearly 3 years he’s always been controlling in certain ways.

Last month he woke me up at 4am and started touching me, me and him very rarely have sex because every time I come onto him he never wants it and when we do its on his terms, his way or the high way.

But he carried on touching me. I laid there pretending to be a sleep for a while longer.

Then he pulled my pants down. At this point I knew i couldn’t fake sleep anymore. Soon as I opened my eyes he said let me put it in your arse.

I said no. He carried on. I said no. He continued to try I said no I don’t want to, I shouted STOP

I then tried to roll over… he held my arms …

And then continued.

It really upset me.

I felt broken

I felt like I had been violated.

But it can’t be rape we are in a relationship

The next day I couldn’t get the incident out of my mind, I felt dirty and must have had at least 6 showers that day, I was fearful and sad, and this increased when I heard his car pull into the drive, I couldn’t look at him.

I decided two days after the attack that it was 100% not my fault and just because I was in a relationship with him does not give him the right to my body, I was raped!!!

Yes I reported, No he wasn’t convicted but I was free, I was safe and he knew he had done wrong.

I just want other woman to know that if you are in a relationship that does not give your partner the right to touch you or sleep with you without your consent, NO means NO!