Recently while bitching about the fact that I do absolutely everything around my house with a bunch of friends all singing “preach Queen”, someone said to me “if you want help you need to be specific… ask for it. People need lists, they aren’t mind readers.”
So I tried that, asking.. specifics..
“Can you take the bin out?”
“Can you get up with the kids? I’m just a little tired after doing it on my own for 329 years”
“Can you go to the shops? I’ve done 3 loads of washing and made breaky, lunch, picked up all the kids school books, dealt with the floating shit in the pond.”
And yeah, she was right… shit got done.
But I was exhausted, just keeping the balls in the air.. remembering what needs to be asked to be done, constant nagging..
And do you know what happened the minute I stopped asking…?
And so I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s not your job to ask for help, it’s not my job to write fucking lists.. We have enough god dam jobs and teaching someone how to consider me and my ridiculous work load is not one of them.
Just do it.
Just think about each other, what it takes to run the god dam house. Is one of you working while the other puts up their feet?
Is one of you hanging out with mates while the other peels the thirtieth piece of fruit for the day?
Is one of you carrying the weight?
Because when the nagging stops, when the asking dies down, when there are no more lists….
All your left with is silent resentment. And that my friends is relationship cancer..
It’s not up to anyone else to teach you consideration. That’s your job.
Just do the fucking dishes without being asked once in a while mother fuckers.