My Son Died But He Didn’t Have to

Any of you on here who pray please keep me in your prayers tomorrow if you can.

Our son was stillborn on 14th June 2017 at 37+6 weeks. Absolutely perfect in every way and not just a mothers love for her child, the autopsy states that every organ, limb, blood vessel etc was formed and functioning perfectly.

At 33+3 weeks I had reduced movements and went to hospital. They performed a scan and discovered a problem with my placenta. I was admitted, put on steroids and told that I’d be staying put. (I also had a history of earlier births with my twins who stopped growing at 33 weeks and were delivered at 33+5 weeks). At this time my son weighed approx 5.5 pounds.

I was nervous but happy with his weight as my girls were much smaller so I thought he’d be fine if delivered soon.

Then 2 days later I was sent home all ok and told to just come back for another scan. 2 days later I was readmitted with more reduced movements. I’d had a total of 3 reduced movements in the space of a week. I was given a Doppler scan which showed everything ok and sent home. The doctor laughed at my concerns and dismissed me.

2 weeks later at a standard appointment I tried to ask how big my son was and was abruptly cut off and told no they wouldn’t tell me. In hindsight had this egotistical arsehole looked he’d have seen that between 34 weeks and 37 weeks my son had gained approx 0.661 pounds when in fact he should have gained at least 2 pounds.

2 days later my son died and I was in labour.

My world ended.

We were initially told my son tested positive for the most rarest of genetic conditions, but with errors in hospital and sample degrading we couldn’t get a second opinion. This condition can cause stillbirth however the autopsy states that the fact my son had zero physical characteristics it’s not possible to say it caused his death.

The geneticist stated that “your son would have been so intellectually disabled that he wouldn’t have had the capacity to breathe you’re better off he died when he did – the divorce rate among parents of intellectually disabled children is so high”

I just wanted to shout bullshit at her.

My entire argument has been from day 1 I had a scan at week 34 and no further growth/development scans. The only way to check a placenta is working is to do a growth scan. If I was given a growth scan at either 36 or 37 weeks they would have seen he stopped growing and could have delivered him early.

I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that this genetic condition did not affect him in any way, if he even had it.

The point of me sharing this is do not always listen to doctors demand to be seen, force them to check you, do not let them tell you that you know nothing, a mother often knows when something isn’t right, I wish I had made them listen to me.