No job, no title, no importance, no status. ‘Just a mum’

Mothering is a long hard game.

It is more than ok to take a break sometimes.

When I had my first child I quickly realised that people treated stay at home mums differently than a working mama.

No job, no title, no importance, no status. ‘Just a mum’.

Long wonderful days of coffee and cake, and friends and cuddles.

Nevermind the non-stop changes of clothes, the not eating, the constant thirst, the crying and crying and crying and that’s just you, oh and the utter loneliness, isolation and the feelings of being judged.

Just enjoying the quiet empty days of mothering being both grateful that you are able to be with your baby and watching her grow and sad and confused wondering why it didn’t mention this bit in the books, why did I feel so bored and lonely when I had this amazing little baby.

I felt like If I did have a rare meet up with a friend all I ever spoke about is my child, I mean what else did I have, becoming a mum I lost my identity.

But I made changes, I joined a darts team and play for 2 hours once a week, and sold bows that I made in my spare time its only something small but it breaks up my week and gives me a sense of worth, Set up a little something for yourself, just a little sideline to keep you busy,, to help you stop your brain from spiralling out of control, to stretch your brain, to help you rediscover yourself, to shut up anyone asking what you do all day. But more importantly for you.

I am not saying go out and get a full time job unless that is what your family needs you to do, im saying find something just fo you, something that gets you thinking, or at least talking to other adults that isn’t your partner.