PPP Me and my boyfriend have a beautiful 8 month old baby together but through…

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PPP

Me and my boyfriend have a beautiful 8 month old baby together but throughout our whole relationship he’s done nothing but lie to me constantly messages other women behind my back, even signed up to a swinging website and a dating website whilst I was pregnant. I forgave him because I wanted the best for our beautiful daughter! In June he was messaging someone behind my back and changed her name in his phone once again I forgave him, I then threw him a suprise birthday party which we ended up going into town afterwards.. I walk back into the club after going for a cig to see him up real close with my bestfriend trying to kiss her!! Once again I stupidly forgive him but now he’s going to a retirement do on saturday and he needs to stop out at a hotel as it’s a hour from home, obviously been worried and paranoid I’ve checked out the place he’s going to and it’s 5 mins away from Sheffield town center! I’m loosing my mind!! The other day I come on my period and joking around whilst we were kissing I said should I go get a condom and he turned all serious quizzing me where they were like intensely asking me! Then the other day I found a viagra in his wallet! It’s not just the fact of cheating it’s also the fact I’m worried he’s going to be on drugs. Over the past week ive bearly eaten ive become so pale and weak from not eating when ever I try to speak to him about him about how uncomfortable I feel with him stopping out he calls me pathetic and says I need to stop bringing the past up because it’s starting to do his head in. I really don’t know what to do. My stomach feels like a washing machine I really don’t want him to go😞. I love him with all my heart as he’s brought my son up from 2 years old and then we have our own daughter aswell. I just don’t trust him and alchol and all his work mates!! 😞
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