Sex Scenes On Tv Don’t Happen Like That In Real Life

When you watch sex scenes on tv. Is it me that thinks, “It does not even happen like that? ” “Is this even sex?”

They have sex instantly,. Then roll over cuddling and fall asleep. Errrmmmm? No sorry, Who the hell does that?.

I am sure this is the right way.

Sometimes it takes 25 minutes to even get hard. I’m literally walking around the house smacking the dick across things to get the blood in. Tv’s, The cooker, The dog. Then when we’re good to go it’s still not straight forward. Theres the moving around positions, Getting feet stuck in blankets and falling over. Headbutting each other trying to be sexy. Picking your partner up and falling off the bed. Then the dick falls out and you try put it back in and you hit the brown bum hole. She thinks it was an accident when in reality the man wants to see if she’s willing to go a bit further.

Half way through you need to stop and have a water break. Grab that pop from the side of the bed then whack it back in. Then you both pull the most ridiculous cum faces and flop off each other. Now in films they cuddle and go to sleep. No no. What about the cum run. Women running across the landing like there vaginas falling out and they are trying to catch it. Then when they sit on the toilet you hear the good old fanny fart and cum explosion into the toilet. While the mans laying there with spermicide still coming out his willy and flicking it off.

Then when its bed time you both try to get comfy and always find sperm getting somewhere it should not have. Like your ears or ankles or in between your toes.

Tvs need to actually watch sex.. I mean it can be quite stressful.