Stay at home Mum VS. Working Mum

Having a child is kind of a big deal. It changes everything. Things that used to seem important suddenly fall off your radar. Suddenly you have this little person that you need to care for. You no longer just think about yourself, you come second, first is your child.

Inevitably for some parents, you have to make a very difficult decision:
Do you return to work or do you become a stay at home mum?
If you return to work do you go back full-time or part-time?
If you become a stay at home mum will you have enough money?
Will I be setting a good example if I don’t return to work?
Will I miss too much of my babies childhood if I do return to work?
Will people think I’m a bad mum if I return to work?
Will people think I’m lazy if I don’t?

It seems crazy doesn’t it? All this stress and worry about something which should be an easy decision. But it isn’t. It is a very difficult decision for every parent.

When I first became a parent I was 21 years old, I had 1 year off work with my daughter then I returned, back to full time work. 40 hours a week plus an extra hour a day for travelling.
When I made this choice I knew it was for the best. My husband and I were saving up to buy a house and we couldn’t do that on just one wage.
I was hard. Really hard. Actually thinking back, it might be the saddest I’ve ever been. I felt awful. Like the worst mum in the world.
I thought everyone was judging me. Calling me a bad mother.
Of course they weren’t.
And I wasn’t. I was being the best mother I could be. I was looking to the future trying to build a better life for us.

I worked full time for nearly 4 years. Then my son was born. This time the choice was easier. I remembered how unhappy I was working so much and being away from my daughter, so I told my husband that I wasn’t going to do it again. I was done. I was quitting as soon as the baby was born…. Well that didn’t go as I planned. As it turns out I could change my contract. Instead of working 5 days a week I could work just 1! It was a big pay cut but once I got to work that 1 day a week I really enjoyed it. Having grown up conversations, drinking coffee while it was still hot. Not watching Peppa Pig for the billionth time. I guess I had the best of both worlds.

Now it’s 4 years later and I’m back to basically full time although it’s “family friendly” so some weeks I will only work 1 day and others I’ll do 6. But it works with my family, we have a good balance and with the kids both in school now I don’t feel guilty anymore for “leaving them”.

I’m not really sure what their is in my little story to take away.

I guess I just want people to see how difficult it can be for mothers and fathers to make this decision.

How what works in one household wouldn’t work in another.

That you don’t know what’s happening in the head and the heart of the person you might be judging because they made a different choice.

Anyway.. Thank you for reading.