This Is Me At The Peak Of My Postpartum Depression

‘This is me, at the peak of my postpartum depression. I asked Shiloh to take a picture of me, so I could remember how far I’d come, if I ever came out of it. I was lower than low, I wasn’t even myself.

Looking back at this photo I remember perfectly the pain I felt, the dread in waking up everyday, the physical pain that engulfed me from thoughts in my brain. I had never known consuming, mind altering emotion such as this that flooded every fiber of my being, making its way through my veins like a plague.

This is what postpartum depression looks like, or at least what it did for me. I didn’t want to leave this life, but it seemed like the only way that would rid me of the pain I was in. I didn’t ask for it, it wasn’t welcome.

But there it was, and I kicked its ****ing ass and beat it to the ground before I let it consume me, or much worse, take my life’ –

Full Credit @themanifestingmamma

If you feel you may have postpartum depression please speak with your Gp, health visitor or midwife, you are not alone, you will get better with help don’t suffer in silence.

 A mother may:

• Feel constantly tired

• Cry often for no apparent reason

• Feel panicky

• Worry excessively about her own or the baby’s health

• Have a lack of feeling for the baby

• Have difficulty sleeping or eating

• Have problems concentrating

• Have frightening thoughts or fantasies

• Feel an overwhelming sense of loss

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