Am I able to get a private post please? I’m really frustrated… my step daught…

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Am I able to get a private post please?
I’m really frustrated… my step daughter is almost in her final year of primary school and is 10 years old but she literally can’t do anything for herself because her mother does it all for her, she can not shower herself, brush her own hair, make her own bed or even make herself something to eat on her own so I literally have to do absolutely everything for her when she’s at mine and my partners house… I would have thought that at her age she should be learning to do things herself, when I try to teach her how to do something herself like wash her own hair she cries and runs off. I don’t mind doing things for her and all her siblings but there dad is extremely lazy and I also have my baby to look after, so sometimes I have to stop feeding my daughter to go and wash my step daughters hair while my partner watches tv..should I mention to her mum that I think she needs to start to learn to do things for herself or should I just continue to do everything for her?? (And she does not have any form of disability or anything that would stop her from not being able to do things for herself)
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