Anonymous post please- sorry ladies this is a long one, as I am stuck and confus…

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Anonymous post please- sorry ladies this is a long one, as I am stuck and confused! I split with my ex almost 5 years ago and have been with my new partner 4 years. Me and my ex have a son who is 6 now, he’s adorable and makes me unbelievably proud. My problem started the moment we split up he made my life hell, he refused to get a bed for him and as I had do sleeps in my job he would have our son at my house, I have ocd and would leave all lights on etc for when i got in he would refuse to pick him up and bring him home meaning I would have leave work and get 2 buses too him, he would verbally give me abuse and threaten court saying how would anyone leave me raise my child due to my anxiety etc he would meet a woman and within 4 weeks be living with them and their children and expect my son to sleep (which I stopped) he would ask for money why he had my son as he had no food or heating etc I could write a book! Despite of this I would still encourage him come for my son as I didn’t want to play god. 4 years on he still doesn’t have a stable home for him to stay therefore sees him every 2 weeks 7.30am-5 Saturday and Sunday. He cries how much he misses his son yet does nothing about it, I used to arrange with him pick him up from school and take him for tea he does it for like 2 weeks and then stops it, so was never consistent. I’ve told him to just stick to his weekends as it’s not fair on our son to keep expecting see his dad more and then him stop. I spoke to him last week as he doesn’t even ring him so this week he has but I know it won’t last. He admitted to smoking weed why our son was in bed in his care however when I exploded when I found out apparently he stopped, he can’t hold a job down so isn’t always consistent providing for our son. I work 2 jobs at full time uni and have my son and I feel I am getting to the point it’s hard to deal with him, he can still become verbally aggressive I have tried having my partner as our mediator however he won’t go through him I don’t want to ask his family as I am still close with them and wouldn’t want them to feel uncomfortable especially when he starts. He is quite manipulative and hurtful, however my son loves his dad understandably but it seems as though I can almost see where this is heading if that makes sense. Despite everything he has done to me to score points etc I have never fully stopped contact only over night stays when he has not had suitable accommodation or when he moves in with a new gf within weeks, I suppose my question is when do you stop contact before it damages my son, will it????? Before I have to put his feelings and safety first??
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