Are these not typical traits of autism? I’m not a mum wanting to label my child,…

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Are these not typical traits of autism?
I’m not a mum wanting to label my child, just a mum who’s have 7 years of concern over my daughter and looking for answers. I already have two boys with non genetic autism.

She’s been like this since she was about 2.
First of all she was told she wasn’t ready for preschool so I was asked to withdraw her (she would scream, cry and hide under tables).
She’s always been behind in her work, she’s had so much help over the years to help her catch up but to no avail.
She cries ALL the time. Even if we ask her the slightest question like “what did you have for lunch?” If she can’t remember she just cries, she won’t ask for help, she won’t talk to anybody she just closes up and gets upset. She’s had countless forms of counselling from play therapy, nurture groups, 1:1 sessions to try and get her to open up but she can’t.

I feel like a bad mum, like I’ve done something wrong but I know in my heart I’ve done everything to help and support her including requesting the counselling.

Mentally she’s a lot younger than her years (she’s now 9)
But physically she’s well ahead of her years IE breast buds since she was 7 etc so physically she seems to be advancing very early (she’s a very tall slim girl, I didn’t start developing until I was 13/14)
This just feels like a constant battle, professionals can’t put it down to hormones as this has been going on since 2 year old.

But now I’ve had this letter! A referral to another counselling session and these are the things the school has noticed…. now to me, as a mum with boys with autism these are all traits…. have I been looking at this all wrong and in fact she could well be on the spectrum too which explains all her behaviours? Or am I just trying to find answers in nothing?

Please help a desperate mum help her only princess 😞

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