Mums Advice

General advice from parent to parent

Our Stories

Are You Sure You’re Not Racist 

An American  mum is going viral for a powerful letter on what she calls “UNintentional racism.” The mum, Brigette Diez Kerr, says she’s never been “intentionally racist,” but when her 7-year-old daughter asked for braids to match her best friend, the mum was suddenly convicted.

Read Brigette’s story below:

This is my daughter and her best friend. They’ve been BFFs since nursery. They are in year 3 now. My daughter got up the other morning for school and asked that I fix her hair like her best friend wears her hair. She wanted tiny braids just like her.

I didn’t give my daughter braids that morning. Instead, I told her we didn’t have time. That was a lie. It was MY fear of my daughter getting teased due to the stereotypes that we place on each other, and how others perceive them, that kept me from giving her braids that morning.

My pastor just spoke this past Sunday morning of intentional and unintentional racism. I am by no means intentionally racist. I have dear friends and coworkers I love that are of many ethnicities. But was MY fear of my daughter being stereotyped a form of UNintentional racism?! I WAS CONVICTED! How dare I push MY fear, my UNintentional racism, onto my daughter who sees no colour, no stereotype, no hate, no “white girl hairstyle” or “black girl hairstyle”? She only sees pretty hair on her best friend. She shows love to ALL people without hesitation.

My daughter got her braids this morning. They weren’t perfect…I tried my very best. And she was SO PROUD!


Her smile was from ear to ear this morning and she couldn’t wait to get to school to show her best friend. She wanted to take a picture with her best friend this morning because they were twins.


I know so many people who claim to not be racist. Maybe you aren’t intentionally being racist but are there some decisions you are making or thoughts that you are having that may be considered UNintentional racism? We are called to love our neighbor as ourselves! Let’s do a better job of showing this love.

Leave a Reply