Can I have a pp please. Sorry, long post. I gave birth to my little boy in my f…

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Can I have a pp please.

Sorry, long post.
I gave birth to my little boy in my forties, from the age of 22 I have had 5 gynae operations for pcos, cysts, endometriosis and scar tissue adhesions, 3 rounds of clomid and 3 of ivf.
My pregnancy was difficult with many trips to emergency dept and I developed sciatica then spd at 19 wks which led to me being wheelchair bound at home, had to give up work early and couldn’t do pregnancy yoga/aqua, pre natal classes etc that I wanted to let alone drive or leave the house.
I felt very traumatised during after the birth which was excruciating painful (was told the spd made it so), had a tear down below that for nearly 2 wks was like hot knives being stuck into me every time I needed to pee. I was chucked out the hospital after 12 hrs of giving birth even though I couldn’t carry my baby as I was on crutches for weeks after as took long time for spd to settle.
Again I couldn’t drive for nearly 2 months or even carry the baby upstairs for weeks due to spd taking ages to settle, missed out doing baby massage, meeting other mums etc.
Our baby then had bad reflux and milk allergy which took doctors ages to diagnose so we had a constantly screaming and non sleeping baby for months. At around 5 months the reflux medication and specialist milk helped but he was still not sleeping or napping as babies should do and was awake most of the night crying.
Roll on a few years and he’s still not sleeping well (never has done) wakes many times in the night and only seems to need 8-9 hrs a night and no day nap

I’m now feeling so exhausted physically and mentally and so upset when I read this back. I know im so lucky to have him but I can’t shake the sadness I have, or look forward. My relationship with oh is strained after all of this and I dont feel I have any energy or fight left. xxx
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