Can I have a ppp
I’ll apologise for the long post before I start, basically I was in a relationship for a year, there was a lot of violence and verbal abuse slapping locking in rooms pushing name calling confiscating of my phone, wasn’t allowed out or to talk with my friends, was subdued from my family (I was only 17/18) then I was told by him to kill myself. He was very angry and had insisted I’d cheated on him with his brother, I was at work and luckily one of my colleagues herd the conversation as he was shouting. She told me to put the phone down and as I did I just broke down. Of course he was full of apologies ect and sent flowers to my work place. I later ended it with him I waited till he was calm met him in a public place and explained that I couldn’t do it anymore. He was still very sorry and telling me he would change, thankfully I knew better. I was very depressed had serve anxiety and self harmed. A month after we split he was still attempting to message me telling me he would kill me or my next partner ect…. told me to do everyone a favour kill myself, go and slit my wrists. I was a state he wished I would never be happy I didn’t deserve it. So I found out I was pregnant, he of course found out wanted to be at scans ect and the birth, I explained that I really wasn’t comfortable with this but would get him a scan picture and would inform him as soon as the baby was here. I was and still am very much so scared of him. This wasn’t good enough and so the amicablity of it had failed, he again turned nasty and in the end I contacted the police this went on for months, eventually he was arrested and taken to court. He was chanrged and an harassment order was put in place. At 5 months old I received a letter though the post asking to be part of the babies life, that again he was sorry ect. Of course me been me wanted to give him and my baby the chance, I drew up my own contract with things such as I will not turn up to contact drunk violent ect and dates times and he signed it along with his mother (who takes drugs she too is scared of him) so I arranged contact once a fortnight at my house (where my parents live too so I’d never be. On my own with him) and they came to see her. He saw me and it was all about me he wasn’t interested in the baby, he had a huge pot up his arm due to punishing a wall the day before in an angry rage so couldn’t even hold the baby without any support. We arranged for the baby to meet some of his family somewhere local. After this he started demanding that I go to his house just me and the baby as he wasn’t comfortable at my house. Of course this was him trying to get back into my head he started asking about if I’d had a boyfriend did I still fancy him telling me we could be a perfect family ect this wasn’t going to happen I could see the cracks straightaway so when I said no it turned nasty again I was called worse than anything. Threatened numerous times, facebook posts were up and slandering me it was never ending. So I never actually said he couldn’t come back and see the baby he decided if it wasn’t on his terms then he wasn’t coming. I maturely remained calm always and said it was best he took me to court. I later found out the letter he originally sent to me wasn’t form his parol officer as he had stated but one his mother had wrote out. About a month ago I got a letter from court saying he wanted 50/50 that I was an unfit parent my daughter was in danger ect (I’m also a nursery nurse btw) I’m the happiest and heaviest I’ve ever been since having my daughter, I’m not in any medication and my mental state is fantastic. we went to court last week and he turned up in tackies, was told to take chewing gum out of his mouth, he was shouting at me in the court room and had to be reminded on numerous occasions to remain calm by the judge and through accusations at me left right and centre he refused to hand I a drug test so was ordered to by the judge. Before entering the court room carcass were involved I tried voicing my opinions but she wasn’t interested and definitely on his side she told me she was going to rule 50/50 as ect and hat he should have her for her first birthday because I’d already had her to myself. I was devostated I just want to protect my baby. Everything I said she continued to snap and say that it wasn’t about me or what I wanted, but as soon as I offered options she would come back and say oh no sorry he doesn’t want to do that. As if I didn’t feel vulnerable enough I now have a professional judging a circumstance she doesn’t know this was the first time I’d ever met her following a phone call in which I told her everything and she told me she’d be ruling no contact at all! So she completely lied. My solicitor was mortified. She couldn’t believe how she was treating me and did have to interfere at one point. As soon as the carcass woman whitnessed him and how he behaved in court she withdrew all recommendations following he next hearing. (May I add he is representing himself ) as court was finished it was decided on a finding of fact hearing which is coming up next week, (he was offered to go on a domestic abuse course for 6 months but refused and still says he’s never done anything wrong and won’t do any courses) as we left court he came up to me and my Mam with his Mam and shouted *fuc**** rats in our faces* my solicitor reported this immediately to the carcass woman. I felt the carcass woman was strongly on his side she didn’t believe anything I said, despite having a harassment order in place, a folder full of printed out messages and witnesses of him telling me to kill myself. Or Turing up where I was telling me if I didn’t go with him he’d drag me home by my hair” she was all set before going into court on giving him 50/50 over night stays immediately I was heartbroken. He is very violent anyways smokes heavily drinks heavily and even refused to submit his drug test in court. His house never had electric “he once forced me to have a cold bath and scrub myself clean” never any hot water. The though of my baby been in his care is killing me.
What do people actually think will be the outcome of this, ino no one can be precise but please any help would be massively appreciated. I’ve had whiteness statements of midwifes and teenage pregnancy workers also to say how happy settled and well looked after my baby is.