Can I have a private post please. I don’t know what I’m hoping to gain from thi…

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Can I have a private post please.

I don’t know what I’m hoping to gain from this but I definitely don’t want sympathy. Afew things happened to me as a child, which I thought I’d delt with but lately I can’t help thinking about that little girl (me) and what she went through. It’s killing me.
A 3/4 year old having her idol taken away (brother)
At 8 years old I was raped by 2 teenagers they shared me passed me around, hurt me so bad. But I never spoke up. High school was awful not one true friend spent a lot of time on my own, wondering what was wrong with me.
And now I’m in my 30’s I’ve never really had a real relationship other than with my daughter’s.
I don’t know what’s triggered my feeling but I can’t get that little girl out of my head and everything she went through. My thoughts are ruining my everyday life. I know it’s me that’s gone through all this but in my head it’s just a random little girl that I can’t stop thinking about. I feel so messed up with no1 to talk to – I just don’t know what to do. Why now why is this hurting so bad now?
Sorry for been vage but going into details triggers too many memories.
Depression is a daily battle which I normally win, but I’m sinking so bad right now and I don’t know what to do
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