Can I have a private post please? I’m looking for advice on what to do about a s…
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Can I have a private post please? I’m looking for advice on what to do about a situation I’ve found myself in. Last night my boys (4months and 3 years) went to stay over night with their grandparents from dads side. They are both heavy smokers so the only thing I asked is that they go outside to smoke when boys are there which they agreed to. When I got them back this morning I could smell smoke on their stuff so phoned boys dad to tell him to speak to his mum and dad. 2 mins later his mum calls me swearing on my boys life they didn’t smoke and that she doesn’t know how the stuff could smell smokey? I told her I was sorry but I didn’t believe that and that I didn’t want to argue and had to go see to the baby. 20 mins later boys dad phoned me telling me his mum is in tears and that I have no right not to believe her. He also mouthed off when I told him that I was angry his mum swore on our boys lives! He then told me to f@(; right off! I can’t believe this is happening! It looks like me and boys dad may spilt up over this! Where do I go from here? Please help. Thanks
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If they’re heavy smokers maybe they’re house smells like that and it’s rubbed off and also maybe when they’ve had cuddles it’s also rubbed off on your children… use your head! don’t tell a grown woman that doesn’t need to lie to you that you don’t believe her… don’t think she’s going to risk her grand babies health over a smoke and risk not seeing them!
I was about to say if they usually smoke inside their house will be saturated in nicotine and only not smoking inside it for one night will mean you’ll still come out smelling of it. I’ve been inside patients homes in my job and they’ve not had a cigarette for a day or so because they’re poorly and I’ve still come out absolutely stinking of it… I would like to think if they’re that adamant and have sworn on their lives then they wouldn’t have done it and have probably got so irate because they hadn’t done it … a just a thought…
The smell of smoke can be transferred still… it reeks. They could have been outside smoking and the kids followed. I smoke outside my front door and can still walk in and smell it and I smoke. A none smoker would be able to smell it easier than a smoker if she was in tears etc she probably feels really guilty. Every time we came back from my dad’s as he was a smoker my mum used to wash all our clothes and bags etc because she said we stunk of it… used to piss her right off 🤣🤣
As much as you are probably right there is a huge possibility that your children/ their clothes smelt like smoke because the house and all the furniture have the smoke smell in them? My daughter stayed at her nan and grandads for a night and although I know for sure they didn’t smoke in the house around her she still came back smelling of it. As much as it is upsetting it might be worth your time to just try and bite your tongue. Speak to your partners mum and explain that you really really don’t want them smoking around your children as you don’t or wouldn’t do it yourself: the damage is easily repaired the children can have baths and clothes can be washed. As much as I wouldn’t want my children inhaling smoke, once in a blue moon won’t initially hurt them? This is my opinion sorry if it doesn’t help 🤷🏼♀️ x
This is a tough one because you just want to protect your children. It could be that they didn’t smoke around them but the smell is on furniture, carpets, curtains etc so they will come back smelling of it. I don’t think the problem is that you asked them but you accused them of lying to you. Your husband is going to be angry that you’ve upset his mum and unfortunately you can’t take those words back. I think the first thing you should do is apologise to your mother in law. Even if you believe you’re right, you need to smooth things over for the sake of your family. Just explain you were worrying about your children and say you can be over protective. I can’t say if your partner will forgive you but you need to sort this out for the children because they need a good relationship with their grandparents. I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope you get it sorted x
In all fairness my grandad is a really heavy smoker (never in the house or around kids!!) But he always stinks of it still and I swear it’s probably rubbed off on my son’s clothes in the past when he was smaller and being cuddled more. It’s disgusting and I hate it, but I know 100% he’s never smoked around him and their house is completely smoke free at all times x
My mum smokes outside when i visit and i still smell of smoke when i come home as they smoke in other rooms all the time so obviously it leaves a yucky smokey smell on the soft furnishings.any toys or clothes my kids forget come back smelling of smoke to.she may have been telling the truth about smoking outside.smokers don’t notice the house smells of smoke even when they aren’t smoking they are too used to the smell ,us non smokers totally notice it.
There is going to be a smell of stale smoke in the house if they smoke in it every day. And when they come in from smoking outside and lift or cuddle the children the smell of smoke will transfer to the kids.. I’m Sorry but I think you need to apologise to your in law for not believing her..
My partners nan is a heavy smoker and she’s more than happy to smoke outside when my sons around. This doesn’t stop him coming home smelling of smoke though as it’s in their house, on their sofa, curtains everywhere! You aren’t going to be able to prevent them smelling of smoke as the smell will be imbedded in their home especially if they’re heavy smokers
If they smoke in the house all the time the smell lingers around the house my parents use to smoke an they would go outside wen I was there but I’d still come out smelling of stale smoke so it is possible that they went outside an the kids clothes smell of the smoke that was lingering around the house
I think you may have to apologize to your MIL …is she is telling you they smoked outside I am sure they did …yes their house and furniture and clothing will have the smoke smell and that will transfer on to the kids stuff not because they smoked in front of them ….is this argument really worth falling out with partner and his parents?
My nanan smokes in her house but always goes outside when me and my children go there yet we still smell like smoke when we leave
In all fairness hun.. My grandad didn’t smoke in the house when my son was there (I was there too) and he came out the house stinking of smoke. The house it’s self will be clinging with smoke/nicotine and it will go on clothes, toys etc.. even if they haven’t been smoking. So tbh I think you should give your in law the benefit of a doubt on this one and believe what they are saying
If they smoke in their house majority of the time, the kids will come back smelling of it. Doesn’t mean they’ve been smoking around your children.
If they smoke in house the house and the boys stuff will smell of smoke even if they did smoke outside
They may not have smoked in the house as smokers normally have smelly smokey houses lol so I find none smokers will smell it on them when they leave
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