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Can I have a private post please? Last year I split with my verbally and mentall…

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Can I have a private post please? Last year I split with my verbally and mentally abusive ex, he’s the father to my daughter, I tried to get on with him as I hoped it would make life easier, which it hasn’t, he came to my house one night to help me with our daughter and he stayed so late he missed his bus so I said he could stay on the sofa he then came into my room as I was getting ready for bed, I can’t remember it too much as it was a while ago and I’ve tried to block it out but I remember him wanting sex and I said I didn’t have any protection (this to me was me saying no without actually saying no) he then had sex with me, I lay there still and didn’t do anything to encourage him, at one point he stopped and said it felt wrong but then carried on anyway, I’m not sure why I’m posting this but I’ve been thinking of it more and more recently as I’m going through the freedom programme so maybe that’s dragging it all up
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