Can I have a private post please. Okay so I suffer with post-traumatic stress, I…

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Can I have a private post please. Okay so I suffer with post-traumatic stress, I have a personality disorder and I have depression for the past seven months I have been off my medication I have felt like the teenager are used to be before everything happened. Quick insight to the story I’m 24 I have three daughters I’m a widow. Since 2014 I have been fighting my ass off to keep my kids, to get better to be happy. The way my husband (their daddy) died caused social services to get involved they pushed and pushed as much as they could try to take the kids. they made me lose family, then lose my friends because they said they weren’t suitable friends or my friends couldn’t handle the way I was reacting to things like the way my illness would take over.?they made me feel like I was a failure. Everything I did was wrong. I got them off my case, case was closed and me and the kids have never been so much happier. I’ve been off my meds, I can get through anniversary Father’s Day birthdays with out caving in I can talk about it quite happily I’m happy to share because I know it helps people. My youngest daughter started nursery today and I have been diagnosed with pleurisy, so moving about very painful I done the school run fine got my daughter back into the car she kicked off so I gave her a banana, and a lolly on the way up mind you she just ate cereal and jam on toast I forgot to take the wet wipes out of my daughters swim bag so I didn’t have them in Car. I didn’t think It would be a problem to wipe her face at nursery. I didn’t realise but she was in dungarees so should get a bit on the kneecap. I went to pick her up and I got pulled into an office on the sidelines right next to where the parents collect the kids so obviously they could hear our conversation. They basically told me they were safeguarding her daughter and ringing social services due to the breakfast I honestly don’t know what to do I’m tired I’m emotionally just drained. I just don’t know what to do, my life’s really well one minute and the next I just don’t want to do it anymore. She is my daughter, my girls are my world, they are my everything. we are due to be homeless 10 days before Christmas I’m ill I don’t need this. I’m scared, well for myself because I’m open to admit I can’t fight this time! I don’t know why it’s probably because I fought so much over the years that I just I just know! am I never meant to be a parent? Will they ever leave me alone will I ever be a good parent what am I doing wrong what can I not see I do it wrong I’m a failure, I fail every think I push people away! I just.. I’m on a spiral it’s like a tornado! One minute you’re fine the next you are being chucked about like there’s no tomorrow, causing damage everywhere you go, and you just left with destruction in your head my head is broke it is in pieces I don’t know what I meant to do? hubby would know! I don’t even know why I’m writing this 😔
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