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Can I have a private post please. Please stay with me on this one. This is very…

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Can I have a private post please.
Please stay with me on this one. This is very sensitive post. Amoungst my children I have a 4 year old boy. My son is going through an awful stage; rude, very physical with both play and also pushing etc his siblings, screaming, ignoring adults, lying etc. I know children go through all these stages but from experience I feel he is one step further than “just a four year old”.
I never have and never will slap my children. I find it an uncontrolled, unessasary and a way to destroy a relationship between a parent and child. My OH (his father) has begun to slap him. The old fashioned slap on the bum type. No marks left yet makes a noise. I am heart broken and I know it upsets my son. As he has told me so. It makes my heart break.
Not sure exactly what I want from this post apart from how would you deal with it? I really don’t want replies name calling of him or the usual “leave him” responce as that isn’t going to help as on the whole he is an amazing father. Circumstances at the moment are resulting in both of us having a hard time so far this year which obviously put a strain us. This does not excuse him but does offer a little background. I am going to ask school to refer me to the ed psych re all his negative behaviour which includes always soiling himself even 14 months after being dry urine wise. But I’m struggling with OH just as much as my son as he doesn’t see a problem with it and causes arguments. Thanks in advance
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