Can you post private I just would like people to read this and understand what i…

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Can you post private I just would like people to read this and understand what it feels like deep inside and I want to inspire people. I feel as though I am understanding myself as a human. I don’t write this for sympathy I just wish someone who is reading this might feel and take in this as much as I took it in myself. I haven’t opened up but I want to now as it feels right and might encourage others. Someone who feels depressed and anxiety all at once. When I was 8 my mum went with a man that gave me alcohol smoked drugs around me a physically and mentally abused me. He physically and mentally abused my mum to he beat my mum black and blue and she finally told the police I then told her about him touching me up after she left him and he went to prison for what he did to my mum but my mum cared more about herself and let my case go so he could get full charges on him for what he did to her. Due to that then my mum met someone else who was an alcoholic then he did the same he burst her face open. Then she left him but little did I know that when she left him she went back to the first guy and slept with him with only finding out a week ago that she done this. Then afterwards she went back to the guy that burst her face open so angry with her and not knowing this secret all my life I ended up smashing my mums car up and my mum put me into care. When I was in care I got accused of stealing which I would never do so I moved back in with my mum as time went on I was lonely and the guy she was with came off the drink in this time I stayed clear from my mum finally moving away once I got a job and finished school I moved into a hostel as me and my mum had an argument and met this guy who I knew before I ended up going with him then not long after he started hitting and abusing me mentally and emotionally I lost my job house everything for him and finally got back on my feet with a job this carried on until I feel pregnant and he still carried on and then it all changed I started writing letters to my baby boy and really was down I finally got the strength to stay on my own and leave him carrying on with working and I have around a week till my baby is here somedays I get depressed and then I realised the past and future is what determines your future and the love which is inside of you is more important than anything on this earth I just feel like the ones I love the most have let me down and I’m hurting breaking my heart if it wasn’t for my baby boy inside of me I don’t think things would be the same I’m finally seeing skeletons coming out the closet but deep down I’m tired hurt and lonely right now I feel in love with my baby abuse is really serious it is not a game and it is someone’s life please if I can reach out to anyone please consider I’m only 21 and I’m praying everyday my baby is here so I can have some love in my life and for someone to love me the same way back this puts a lump in my throat writing this but it’s from the heart Thankyou for taken your time to read this
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