Check On Your Loved Ones

I first met Luke when we were 11 years old, starting our first day of secondary school. We were seated next to each other on a seating plan and we instantly clicked, so much so that he came and chose to sit next to me in our lessons that we were allowed to seat ourselves. We would message each other after school, we both liked one another but were too shy to admit it. I moved schools in year 8 and we lost contact.

In June 2016 we regained that contact. We had the same initial spark but we were a lot older now and more open to the idea of a relationship. Luke and I did not have a perfect relationship, but we made some amazing memories together in those almost 3 years that I will never forget. We went on holiday 3 times, we went to concerts, festivals, parties, water parks, we drove around in his car just to spend time together. We always came as a pair, we did everything together. We had our ups and downs like any couple, but we cared for each other so deeply.

What most people will not know is that I struggle with mental illnesses. Luke was always there for me. He came to my college open days where my anxiety would be at an all time high. He supported me through everything and I feel so so guilty that I couldn’t do the same for him. Luke always wanted me to follow my dreams, go to college, go to uni and pursue my dream career. My life has just been turned upside down, but however long it takes me, I will do it for you Luke.

Luke lived with my family and I, I saw him every single day and I was still oblivious to him being in this dark place. Please check on your friends, your partner, your co-workers, anyone and everyone in your life. You really never know what is going on in somebody’s mind.

Luke, I hope wherever you are you can see how much me, my family, your family and your friends care for you. Not a day will go by where I won’t think of you. I wish I could’ve supported you in the same way you did for me. I wish you would’ve talked to me, I would’ve understood. It feels weird talking about you in the past tense, I don’t think this will ever fully sink in. I will miss you so so so much. I’m not just mourning my boyfriend. I’m mourning my best friend, my support system, the only person I felt I could turn to. I will love you forever.

Sarah Harris