Could I have a PP please? Alots happened this last month, and now I’ve miscarri…

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Could I have a PP please?

Alots happened this last month, and now I’ve miscarried my baby at 8-9 weeks on thursday. The women told me so matter of fact and then I was left to go, no help at all. I don’t know what I expected. Am I overreacting for bonding so much and expecting help?

I don’t even know what I want, people have it worse at a later stage I know that. But that was my baby, no matter how small baby was, baby was inside me and I failed to look after baby. I tried so hard though, I used to talk to baby alot and tell baby to be strong and how much we all loved baby, I even called it a boys/girls name that me/my partner liked..

I’m just so, I don’t even know. I feel so so numb, angry, upset, guilty, lost, so so alone (you realise who’s your real friends, it’s a different type of alone though) and regardless of what people will say, due to everything that’s happened I feel it’s my fault. I’ve cried, full on broke down, twice.

But I have a 5 year old and 6 month old to look after so I’ve got to be strong, and I think I’ve got that mentality so much that I don’t even know how I feel anymore. I got told about the miscarrage then had to come out of the room with a smile on my face and play with my children like nothing had happened for the day, because they come first not me, I had to make sure they had a good day and didn’t see mummy sad.

Basically I need to know, how did people cope with a loss at that many weeks? How did you feel? How did your partner react? I just want advice, to be told it’s okay and things get better, to be told how I feel is normal. And I feel like there’s nothing to show that baby was here other than a scan of a sac, so any ideas of how to remember/signify that baby was here?
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