Could you please post … Please please has anyone got any advice.. I had a d…
[ad_1]
Could you please post …
Please please has anyone got any advice..
I had a daughter 5 years ago with an ex, both him and my mum were my birthing partners, I was induced and the outcome was a Emergency csection, my mum was with me from the Wednesday – saturday then obviously didn’t see the baby being born.
This time I’m hoping for a natural birth but as everyone knows it don’t always go to plan so havent been so worried about it as I may get another c section who knows to which my mum has said she isn’t going to take it away from my boyfriend seeing his first baby come into this world, i could have the baby one night im on my own we don’t know the outcome so when my partner has a few times said he wants just him there with me I haven’t taken notice but ive had a nightmare its really upset me and made me so scared and anxious. He has some on one occasion your mum takes over and he’ll have a go if she was to be there at the birth,yeah my mum is my best friend my rock we are very close and always said I wanted her to be there if I had another child as she missed out first time, so if she had been there for the first I wouldn’t be so worried about it as she’s done it before and I know she’d understand. Butihavejttold her my other half doesn’t want her there she’s quite hotheaded and I think it will upset her, I wouldn’t let her take over she couldn’t be there start to finish Cos my daughter I just want her for the delivering part.. My other half has mentioned it to a few people his wishes they say they understand his feelings and should jusy be us two. I don’t want him to argue with my mum. And I know it could end in a c section so could be all this for nothing but I really don’t know what to do, I’m starting to panic healreadyhates the fact I speak to her everyday and spend some weekends with her and once a fortnight she has my daughter overnight, they are very close as I only moved out last year so we were together the three of us for nearly 4 years of my daughters life. Unfortunately we all became homeless and all ended up apart, I miss living with my mum and have no friends pretty much, and my other half don’t live with Me at moment as in temp accomadation. He’s told me when we are living together it should be the four of us at weekends and we can’t see our families as much as we do,and he doesn’t want people over when he gets home from work and said to me “you mum does realise she can’t come and go like she does now it’s our home and you won’t be spending as much time with her” it upsets me, she’s my mum she has feelings she doesn’t see me everyday no nomore she doesn’t see my daughter everyday and tbh she’s lonely as much as me, I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression through housing situations ive fought for where I am now, I’ve done it all by myself no one else and my partner has cheek to say we are one step closer, what was all the fuss about, and moaning He won’t live with Me when baby is first born u fortunately isn’t my fault as im not allowed tohaveanyone living withme currently and i mention him it could backfire the help im receiving from my local housing, I can’t make things go faster with a permemant house and he’s stressing me out telling me to bother thenand hurry things which ive had two meltdowns with the stress of the housing situation and he isn’t helping with the arguing and I’m not doing enough 😔😔
Sorry it’s so long I don’t know what to do just under 9 weeks till due date 😪
[ad_2]
Source
I’m that close with my mum and my oh knows this I would never stop my mum from coming over or not seeing her grandkids. You have who ever you want there who will make you comfortable. My oh would’ve liked it to be me and him at the birth of our first but I told him there was no way I was doing it without my mum and it wasn’t him delivering a baby out their vagina so didn’t really get a say…… I put it nicer than that but he totally got what I meant and understood I needed that extra support. He sounds quite controlling love I would have a long chat with your mum and see what she thinks
This is a seriously controlling attitude he’s got. When you live together you won’t be seeing your families so much and he doesn’t want people round. He’s trying to isolate you and especially from your own mother! Tell him to fuck off, men come and go but your mum will always be there for you.
Do NOT let this man come between you and your mum. Like you said your mum is your rock. Men come and go but you only get one mum. Someone said before he sounds like a control freak and I completely agree. It usually starts with getting you away from your friends and family so they can control you without anyone standing up for you. Don’t let him push you around hun xx
This sounds like my ex he used to try things like this I lost everyone, but would never ever let anyone come in between me and my mum, men come and go you only ever get one mum and once she’s gone it will hurt so bad as if as let alone if you let a man dictate when and how you can see and talk to your mum, he is controlling you and if you let him control you for this he will control you for worse things believe me it will only get worse, stand your ground Hun trust me I’ve been there it started with things like this by the end of it after 2 and half years of controlling I got the beatings x
You don’t want to push your mum out but you also need to make sure he ain’t feeling pushed out either. Sounds a bit like he just wants to be the protective supporting role in your life but it’s making you resent him more as you feel to do that you have to push your mum away by the sounds of it You need to find some common ground for all involved. Your partner wants to step up which is amazing. Can you try and find ways to make him feel important too? It’s good you have a close relationship with your mum but you need to build that sort of close relationship with your partner aswell. The housing situation sounds out of your control but he sounds like he just wants his family together which is also great, it’s his first baby and he wants to be there. Sound like you need to talk explain how important he is yo you and maybe do some baby bonding time just you him and bump. Get him talking to bump, baby shopping just you two. Let him look after you so he feels important too and maybe try of they would bonding sessions your partner and mum. Men are rubbish at saying what they really mean especially when it comes to feelings.
To be fair although the dad has every right to be there he is being a complete arsehe and thinking of himself. Its not about him its about you its your labour and you going through all that pain to fetch his beautiful child into this world. Its what you want not him before anyone starts yes its his experience too and his child. But dont mean he can tell you how to have your labour when all he has to do is stand there and try support you. My 1st labour everyone came straight in after my daughter was born and i wasnt happy when my 2nd daughter was born i put my foot down and made sure no one else came until the next day and until i was ready. Mine ended in section too. You do what you are happy with whether he gets his balls in a twist or not xx
I’d love to let someone tell me I couldn’t have my mam at the birth and see her everyday #jogon fuck that she’s your mam you only get one !! I’d be telling him to piss off