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Do I Give Up My Son Or My Boyfriend?

A post on https://www.facebook.com/SingleMumsDen/ has caused uproar see below for why

We have been dating for almost two years and he has now proposed to marry me. We have so much fun together, he’s kind, honest and our connection is magical

But he says he doesn’t want my 5 year old son to live with us when we get married.

He also doesn’t want me to receive child and financial support for the child from the father in the meantime.

He says the boy should go to his father.

When he met me, I had broken my relationship with the father of my son because he was unfaithful and made other women pregnant.

I’ve brought up my son alone and the boy literally has no relationship with his father. But the father occasionally sends money or clothes to support the boy but he won’t take the child.

I love my son and I wish to continue to bring him up as my own. I also don’t have my own mother who I probably could have taken the child to, so my Mother having him isn’t an option.

But he says that the boy makes him uncomfortable as he looks like his father(the father to the boy is well known in our town).

Please advise me. Do I give up this child to one of my aunties who live some distance away or break up the relationship

17 thoughts on “Do I Give Up My Son Or My Boyfriend?

  • Shanice

    Absolutely not that little boy is your blood tell the boyfriend sling his hook, is he can’t accept your son he can’t accept you. I was dropped by my mum and it still hurts to this day

    Reply
  • A mother

    Disgusted your even considering choosing a man one your child ! This is a decision no one should ever have to think about Your child didn’t and to be born you are a parent before anything else

    Reply
  • Tasha

    Never ever, and i mean NEVER, let a man come between you and your child. Don’t you dare give up your son for a man!! I’m absolutely shocked you would ever consider this!!! I’m sorry but I think your man needs to go!! I was a single mum for 5 years before I met my current boyfriend. We have been together for 15 months and plan to buy a house together. He loves my child like they are his own even though he has no children himself. I dated in the 5 years I was single and any man who showed the slightest bit of negativity towards my child they were gone. My child is my life and soul and I would never dream of getting rid of them for a man. Your fiancee needs to sort himself out. He either accepts both you AND your son or he leaves. I’m sorry if i come across as harsh but my heart breaks thinking of the reject and hurt your son would feel if you cast him aside for someone else. My child is 6 and i want to cry thinking of what they would go through wondering where their mummy is and what they did wrong. You need to stand up to this man and tell him if he wants a life with you then he has to have a life with your son too. If he leaves then he’s not the one for you. Men will come and go in our life but our children are forever and our number 1 priority. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON’T give up your son!

    Reply
  • Mrsjc

    He is mentally disturbed… drop the guy he will destroy your life.. this boy needs you ! If he cannot be a father to your son he should go his way.. it will hurt you now but loosing your son will mean loosing yourself..do you want to explain to your son one day you chose a bloke over him? He will hate you for it.

    Reply
  • Whatisthis

    If you seriously have thoughts of giving up “the boy” as you call him then you arent any kind of woman. To give up a precious gift of a child for some.man who isnt even guaranteed hel be in your life in 5 yrs to come is utter disgusting and you should be ashamed. No real man woukd ever ask a mother to do that. Get rid if the arrogant man and keep your son !!!!!

    Reply
  • Sammi

    Wow I cant actually believe I am reading this. 1st of all how selfish are u putting your feelings and needs before your child. Hes not a toy that u jus throw away when your fed up or seen a new better toy hes a child. If your fiancee wants to break up a relationship between mother and child then shame on him and shame on you for even considering it.. what happens if u give your child up n your relationship fails then what u gonna want your kid back.. as a mother your child should always come 1st. Not a man..

    Reply
  • Jess

    Give the kid up seriously.. go for the man, to even consider it you dont deserve to have a child anyway. I dread to think whats gone on behind closed doors for that poor kid, clearly isnt wanted by the guy and his mum contemplating giving him up! Send him to a family who will actually prioritise and appreciate him, cos you obviously dont!

    Reply
  • Momof3

    Yeah, I think the fact that your even considering this is awful, your son is your son for life, if you care that little about him let him go to a family that will love him how he deserves, we will hear from you soon again under the heading “my husband wont let me leave the noise” “my husband takes all my money” ” my husband is a control freak” good luck to you, I hope your lovely little boy finds a family that will love him

    Reply
  • Yasmin

    Give your child to his aunt becuase he doesn’t deserve you as his mother. How can you even consider this. It broke my heart reading it. He deserves better then a so called mother who would happily choose a man that problay wont last over there own child Your sick!!!

    Reply
  • Dannie

    You are a joke. Give the baby to some one who wouldn’t second guess passing him out like candy. Let me meet you some where and I bet when I’m done with you you will either take your last breath for your son or your man!!! It’s bitches like you that give women like me (with two different fathers) a bad name. Fuck you and your man. I hope your baby get the mother that he deserves. And I pray to god you never Ever have any more kids.

    Reply
  • Kate

    Are you serious! I can’t believe you would even feel the need to ask for advice on this issue, wow that poor boy deserves so much more. Also you knowing the pain of not having a mom around would inflict that on your child! To think all those poor people in this world who can’t have a child too, shame on you as a woman and as a mother

    Reply
  • Zoe

    What a selfish bitch you dont deserve to be a mum for even thinking about giving up your child

    Reply
    • Anonymous

      So agree. It’s so sad that this is even a conversation!

      Reply
      • 080194mhf

        How your even considering this is beyond me! You’ve been with your ‘boyfriend’ for 2 years now.. erm… your sons been in your life for 5! Get a grip! Your need to get your priorities right! Absolutely disgusting! & so is your partener!

        Reply
  • MamaleeeeeeeeeG

    I am struggling to believe that this is a real post. No decent mother who deserves her children would even question it. I love my partner with everything, he is my best friend and the love of my life but if he even so much as suggested that I give up my daughter he would be so far out on his ass faster than a hummingbird wings. Maybe if you’re actually considering this then your son should be placed with someone else because he doesn’t deserve that from his mother.

    Reply
  • Anonymous

    Can’t believe you’re even asking this! Obviously ditch the boy toy! Your child should be your TOP priority and this shouldn’t even be a conversation at all!!!

    Reply
  • Kayleigh

    Don’t give your son up over a bloke my mum chose a bloke over me and I still hate her and will never forgive her

    Reply

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