Growing up around mental illness 

Growing up around mental illness
Normal childhood, my parents would take me out all the time

But from what seemed like nowhere my mother got agoraphobia

Obviously this didn’t just come from nowhere, but to the mind of a child, it just appeared
One weekend going all over the country to visit family or friends or whatever, then… BAM! Can’t leave the house
“Can I have a lift to dads?”

“I’m sorry, we can’t”
“Can I go to the park?”

“Not today”
“Mum, Emily is having a sleepover, can I go?”

“Another time”
“Can I go on the school trip to Italy?”

“We can’t afford it, and it’s a very long time to be away”
I never envy or feel bitter about the fact I couldn’t do what I always wanted, don’t get me wrong it wasn’t always a “no” or “another time”

My parents did their best to maintain a “normal” childhood for me
Except for the fact, they relied on me.
I’d be out with friends and my mobile would ring “can you come home, we’re having a bad time”

And I’d return, to help diffuse the situation of a panic attack
It’s always been described to me as an elastic band of safety

The elastic band used to cover a larger area, but over time it’s gotten smaller and smaller.

To the point my parents are stuck in the house for the most part
But, while I never got to do all of the things I wanted to when I was younger, I was taught skills of empathy, care, compassion and the importance of family to a degree I’m proud of.

My parents are my everything, and every day I hope it’s a good day for their sake.
I am forever grateful of my childhood, it led to me being who I am today
A daughter, a wife, a mother and a nurse
I am forever grateful.