Hello, could I get a private post please? Its a bit long, sorry. My 10 year old…

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Hello, could I get a private post please? Its a bit long, sorry.

My 10 year old son is out of control and I don’t know what to do. He’s rude, disruptive, aggressive, tells lies. If he doesn’t get his own way he has awful “tantrums”. He’ll throw things, break things, scream, shout, push me. He’s always been testing, but I’ve always just thought, “oh he’ll grow out of it” or “oh it’s just a stage” buts its just getting worse as he gets older. I give him a warning then I follow through with a punishment. I ground him, take away his things, but he’ll just kick off like mad. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He laughs when he upsets me or his 8 year old sister. He seems to get enjoyment out of upsetting us. Sometimes he’ll hurt my cat when he’s kicking off to get to me. He’s had a normal childhood, he hasn’t been spoilt. Yet he acts like a spoilt angry “brat” I guess you could say. I’m scared to ask for help because he threatens me, he says if I tell people what he’s done then he’ll tell his teacher that I beat him up and then he’ll be taken away. My daughter is so kind and caring and he’s the complete opposite. How can they be so different?? He says he hates me, wants me dead. After one of his “tantrums” he’ll feel sorry for himself, say it’s my fault he acted like that, says he’ll kill himself or run away. When I explain to him what he’s done and said is wrong or that he’s upset or hurt me, he just says “good” or “oh well”. I was cooking last night and he was kicking off. He picked up a knife and for a split second I honestly thought he was going to hurt me. Nothing seems to work, punishing him, talking to him, shouting at him, ignoring him, rewarding the rare good behavior, nothing works. My partner of 6 years is at his wits end with it all. My mum thinks perhaps he’s “got something wrong” with him. His biological father (who’s never been on the scene) had problems. He was violent, had ADHD and conduct disorder. I’ve been researching conduct disorder and my son ticks all the boxes, plus it’s hereditary. But maybe I’m just trying to put a label on bad behavior? I’m too scared to go to our our docter because my son said he’d lie about me, and I couldn’t bare to lose him. I love him so much. I just don’t know what to do. Has anyone else had this with a child?? Xx
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