Hello could I have a pp please?
I have just recently found out from my 4 year old little girl that her dad has been pretty much emotionally abusing her. To cut a long story short he got involved far too late in her life and has been in and out as he pleased. I kept giving him chance after chance but eventually 2 years later I’ve finally given up. My little one was sitting at the breakfast table yesterday morning and started hysterically crying out of the blue. When I asked her what was wrong she told me that her dad was always angry at her, she’s scared of him, he always shouts at her, and when his current partner (mother of my little girls sister) tries to intervene he shouts at her too and makes her cry, he calls her names, leaves her out all the time too. I asked her if daddy had ever hit her and she said no he’s just always angry. This has only just come out 10 weeks after no contact from her father, it’s as if she was scared to tell me what was going on when he was around. This man was physically and emotionally abusive to me when I was with him, and for him to gain contact with my little girl we had to go through social work and they monitored everything. He seemed to have changed. Stopped the drinking, got a job, learned to control his anger and settled down. The case was closed to social work and contact Continued as planned for maybe a month and a bit before he started walking in and out of my daughters life as he pleased. Although there was no sign of abuse to my daughter at the time, he was always emotionally abusive to me. Nothing I did was ever good enough, I was a bad mother, he used to focus on the fact that I had taken my daughter to A&E on a number of occasions (with good reason) and that he had never had to take her while she was in his care, therefore making me out to be a Careless person not fit to be a mother. He would make me believe that I was going through motherhood doing everything wrong, even though my little girl has grown to be a caring, well mannered, well spoken, kind beautiful little person. I am now starting to wonder if he was manipulating me into believing this to take the attention away from what he was doing to our child. He also used to tell me that my little girl was always telling lies, telling him that me and my partner were lifting our hands to her (which we would NEVER) when I questioned my little girl she genuinely didn’t have a clue what I was talking about and said she had never said it. I fully believe her, I know when my child is telling lies. She’s not a liar. Most she lies about is if she has broken something she will tell me it was the fairies!! There was a number of occasions he had done this with different ‘lies’ apparently coming out ‘our child’s mouth’ which all turned out to be fantasy, it was him making it up! Was he making it up incase my baby told about what he was doing to her? So he could make her out to be a liar yet again? My girl broke down to me yesterday telling me I have to tell daddy to go far away and that she’s scared of him and wants me
To keep her safe. Obviously he will never be left alone with her again. But I feel I am at a loose end. I am the person that is supposed to protect her from harm, and all along I’ve been telling her to go to her dads when she’s told me she doesn’t want to, being none the wiser! I feel like the terrible mother he’s always made me out to be. What would all the other mums on this page do? Since I stopped contact after blocking him on everything there has been no indication from him that he is going to fight this, but I know what he is like and have a gut feeling this isn’t the end. He’s not on the birth certificate but has been proved to be her father through DNA. Can anyone help me with which path to take next? Do I report it? Do I confront him? Do I try to get his rights removed? (Extreme I know but I promised my baby girl I would keep her safe) does he even have any rights if he’s not on the birth certificate? do I leave it as be and bring it up if he takes me to court or gets solicitors involved? Please help😢 no bashing please I already feel terrible as it is letting my child go to this man and being none the wiser, she didn’t want to go, I can’t believe I missed the signs😢