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Hello,
I am desperate need of some advice on what to do about my sons father & partner.
My son is 8 years old and I have not been with his dad since he was a few months old. Ever since then I feel like I have been constantly criticised about how I am as a mother by the both of them. 8 years of been told I’m not good enough and to let my son go and live with them. I also have a daughter but to my last parter after my sons dad. Both my children are happy heathy and the bond we have is unbreakable. They make me very proud everyday!
A couple of years ago his dad took me to court because I said My son could not go to his house because he does not want to. The reason being because my son got so upset & emotional every time it came to going . He told me he never liked it there but I encouraged it for while although as mother it broke my heart but I thought it may of just been a faze , but it just continued so after trying to be civil about the situation and trying to get the bottom of what the problem was with his dad I just got dismissed like I’m like I’m something on the bottom of his shoe and that I have no right to be concerned about my child. So I stopped the visits, he then took me to court (which was my intention so I could raise my issues there) I never want to stop my child having a relationship with dad but in situations like this what was I supposed to do? Anyway that court heard my side and i agreed to my son going there every other weekend.
Throughout this process It’s not his father I have disagreements with i also have to fight my corner against his partner that for some reason thinks she’s his mother too. My son has had it drilled in his head from a baby to call her ‘ mummy- And her name’ which I was furious about.
Anyway I find her very interfering and just as I thought me and his father had managed to be civil and co-parent since the court hearing every other week my son is coming back from his fathers emotional and distressed because of things they say about me to him. The latest has been that I lied about doing my sons homework with him because I got date wrong in his homework diary one night and they told my son ‘ it’s bad that your mummy lies’ well my son told me I obviously saw red and text his dad and put him straight. Then I get dismissed like the muck under shoe again because he simply can’t admit he’s wrong and refuses to agree not to say things about me to our child.
It’s even got down to his partner checking My sons underpants size when he’s there and if they are a month younger than what he is she throws them away and makes comments to my son like ‘mummy putting you in clothes too small for you again’ I just feel like she’s creating issues here what’s her problem? It really upsets my son no child want to hear bad things about ether of their parents and I would never bad mouth my sons dad in front of my son it’s just wrong.
On my weekends with my son they are constantly texting me and asking me to have Harvey I feel harassed they both text me and if I don’t Reply because I’m busy or out they keep texting and ringing. I frightened if they find out my mum had to mind my son over night for me because of what they will say ‘ mummy passed you around again’
They constantly ask my son questions about me & my life when he’s there, they ask who he’s been with, what he eats and what he’s been doing while he’s with me. Like I’m some drug addict that leaves my kids and let’s them starve! They also make comments about me having to buy my sons packed lunch from the shop for school sometimes because I’ve not been food shopping. I’m studying a criminology & criminal justice degree what do they think I’m going to be doing? Honestly!! It’s like they are looking for something that they can use to get custardy of my son!
Ive had a massive argument with his partner today and she’s now saying I’m neglecting my son because his school pants are too small (which tbh they are slightly on the leg because he grown since September like all kids do 🙄) and I was going to go out at the weekend and get him some new ones as I’m at uni 3 days week and I work the other 2 so I do not have time. She also proceeded to tell me that I don’t cut my sons nails for weeks but I actually do it mine & the kids every week I just don’t cut them down to the finger like she does because my son doesn’t like it how she does but he said it hurts which is does when you cut them too short 🙄. Last year they also called his school on me and told them I was his taking him out of school to go on holiday to Majorca because I was saving £300 by doing this. I was just going to tell them my son is unwell to prevent getting a fine but they made sure i got one. Then they had the cheek to say it’s not acceptable to take him out of school to save myself a few quid which is funny because maybe I wouldn’t have to do that if his father payed more than £40 a month child maintenance. Apparently that’s all his dad earns to pay yet he has his own decorating firm, people working for him and 3 vehicles 🤔. I just feel harassed and I feel like they are constantly looking for issues to make me look and feel like a bad mother. I just want them both to leave to me alone and stop giving their opinions in front of him . My son is at the right level in school, he’s happy, he’s heathy and he just wants them to stop all this as well as me. He’s 8 years old and should be oblivious but i just don’t know what to do anymore. There’s two of them and only one of me. Would I be eligible for a non molestation order?
I have had enough, I don’t what to do. I’ve had to defend myself against them both for years now. I just need advice on what I can do to get them to leave me alone.
Many thanks
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