Hello I was wondering if I could have a private message. I’ve struggled alot wit…

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Hello I was wondering if I could have a private message. I’ve struggled alot with my youngest who is now about 7 months old, I spoke to a health visitor a while ago telling them I’m struggling and she’s sending me things to help however she believes I don’t have anything majorly wrong with me. I think I’m ashamed of how I’ve been feeling and don’t feel I’d be able to say it face to face to someone. Even my partner only heard about it via a text at work. Well recently I looked at something describing signs of ppd and while I thought he was abit old for me to still have it, I’ve had all the symptoms on there and it’s really made me think I’m depressed. Problem is one of those symptoms are that when he cries too long I get a horrible thought quickly flash in my mind that I want to hurt him. I NEVER EVER WOULD but this is a big sign something is wrong… I need to tell her but I fear social services would then get involved? Has anyone experienced this. I need medication but telling a doctor sounds even worse than expressing this to my health visitor
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