Hey cms, I have a question regarding meddling grandparents. I have a MIL who is…

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Hey cms,

I have a question regarding meddling grandparents. I have a MIL who is OK most of the time but I struggle with her when it comes to my SD. She loves her granddaughter but significantly over-indulges her and treats her like a baby. Everything revolves around sd and we are trying to raise a child who isn’t needy, attention seeking or downright rude. But when grandma is over she goes completely against everything we encourage and SDs behaviour becomes disgusting. Here’s some examples:
– She has her on her lap at meals even though SD knows that she is to sit at her own table. Then whines that SD should sit with us and makes passive aggressive comments
– She buys her things EVERY time she is out. They can’t go to the shops without a present which we hate. We don’t want her to be demanding as she gets older.
– She sneaks her to see the grandfather (which my partner has had to exclude).
– SD will interrupt a conversation and the grandmother will ignore what adults are saying and talk to SD instead, rewarding the interrupting before we get a chance to tell her that adults are talking.
– she takes over with things such as organising her food and completely override us when we say things like ‘eat x before x’.
– will take SD away from meals to go to toy stores and shopping (including my birthday dinner) whereas we want to encourage her to wait.

I put my foot down for the first time today because the whole Christmas lunch was revolving around SD as per usual and I got called bossy.

I just feel really frustrated and I have to deal with her so often. My partner never says anything to her and I just don’t know what to do because she only sees me as the step mum. I’m having a baby soon and I won’t tolerate it for my child, so how can I be fair and stop having to tolerate it for my SD?
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