Hi, can i get a private post please… sorry its a long one Me and my husband h…
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Hi, can i get a private post please… sorry its a long one
Me and my husband have been spilt up since 22nd May. Since then we have had 2 arguments over him not having his child enough, i have messages saying he rather have a social life, rather see his girlfriend ect. Since we’ve split he has her her maybe 4 times over night and has been round here for tea a couple times. Well yesterday i was told by my GP due to my stress levels to see if he can have our child a bit more. He kicked off, saying he would have to quit work to have her more or if he dropped his hours he wouldn’t be able to afford to live… at the minute he does 40-60hr a week at £8.50 a hour and his monthly outgoings are only aprox £650. So after arguing with him and there been violence from his part and threats i said no more! Its not fair on me or my daughter and take me to court… i ignored his messages and then got this… (pic in comments) my question is, has anyone else been in this position and what did the courts decide? The police have been called twice over the last 3 months, 1st went down as self defense to me against him, second down to him as lawful eviction but i didnt touch him but he left bruises across my arms and back, scratches across my chest and pulled my hair all infront of his child, he admitted to the police he did it. He says because of my mental health (mild depression no need to medicate and i took a load of tablets a few months ago due to a hell of a lot of stress across the board) that he will get full custody… but the GP said because I’ve never had an episode like that before and my daughter wasn’t there that that wouldn’t warrent any action from social services. Surely if i was that ‘unstable’ they would have taken her off me by now. Im obviously expecting the worst, but people say he doesn’t have a leg to stand on due to his behaviour and my proof of him not wanting our daughter until it suits him… anyone else been in my position? What can i expect? Thanks
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The courts will take any allegations seriously. From both sides. But they will also ignore petty things. They aren’t interested in what yours and your exs relationship is like all they want is what is best for the child. They will issue an order where he has regular access and if you have good reasoning it will begin in a contact centre (not nice for children or parents) eventually he will get access and the courts expect you to be civil and accommodating Ie if you have a holiday booked to switch weekends or if he has plans one weekend to switch, all with notice not last minute. It is best he takes you to court. For your benefit more than anything. At least you can prepare an order where he has fair regular access which makes it easier on you. I have / am going through the courts for my husbands 2 children (she stopped him seeing them) but I also have a son whose dad has plenty of room for improvement, I am waiting on court hearings for him because the lack of consistency and lies to my son started to affect him. Good luck do not stress about it all just go in open minded and willing. At the end of the day your daughter has every right to know her dad but it needs to be consistent reliable and safe environment. As he isn’t willing to play ball the courts can enforce it and he has to. When she is older you will be able to hold your head high and tell her you tried then she will make her own mind up xx good luck if you need any info on the process you can message me. 🙂 x