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Hi can I have a private post please
I’m 25yrs old I have been in a relationship for 6 years I have a massive family his is really small, we have our own home no children both worked full time then last year I had to do one of the most hardest things I’ve ever done and reported my sister to social services for child abuse. I had been noticing things for a while and tried to help her the best I could I gave her all my free time and bent over backwards to help her but nothing was working and her mental health was worsening which scared me alot so I spoke to our mum and dad and they basically said there’s nothing they can do (there usual answer to every problem which is why I took on the responsibility of my sister and her children and had been doing for as long as I can remember) so I was on my own and terrified of the worst happening so I reported it. After examinations All 3 children were taken into emergency foster care so I put myself forward to take them in until things got sorted. I left my job and The children were with me and my partner for 7 months Age 4, 1 and newborn as much as we loved them and had a lot of fun it was also such a hard time. We went from having no children to 3 infants, we went from having as much sleep as we wanted to next to none at all. 2 sets of bottles 2 sets of nappys answering 100 questions a day from a confused worried little girl, the school runs, the playing, the bathing, dr appointments, hospital, sickness, both babies were in hospital for a week with bronchitis, whilst at the same time getting absolute hell from their mum dad and both their family’s (yes mine too) and because we were classed as foster carers the local authority came into our lives and dug deep into the past raking everything back up from your very first memory to the very last they visited close friends wanted references from close people they poked and prodded in every single part of our life they made judgments they told us what we can and can’t do some of the dos and donts were down to the children’s parents being picky. We had to attend meetings with local authorities and parents and grandparents about the next moves the change of plan the dos and the donts, we had a 3 week Disney cruise booked and a week in Orlando we offered to take all 3 girls with us but their parents said no. The social services told them that the children will be placed with strangers whilst we were on holiday and they still said no they children are not going. So we cancelled our holiday and lost thousands of pounds so that the children wernt with stranger for a month. Anyway we were in and out of court constantly were my own family accused me of 1. Being bipolar 2. Being infertile 3.Trying to snatch my sisters kids 4. Being jealous of my sister … the first 2 were proved to be nothing but lies and the last two were just that pathetic that nobody believed them anyway but these came from the mouths of my own family my family who knew how much my sister meant to me how much I loved her kids how much I loved all my family and the last thing I would want to do was to hurt them but they made me out to be this awful person who was just jealous even though they knew what my sister was doing to them babies even though I had begged for their help they still blamed me. The parents of the children had to have daily contact with the children in order to pass parenting assessments, my sister attended court for only 1 of the incidents of many because there was only photographic evidence for one incident and no proof for the others. She got a £80 fine 4 weeks on tag and was to attend rehabilitation. There is a lot more to this story like things the eldest child told us, how she would flinch from an opened door, how the father wasn’t the father of the eldest child and we nearly fought for her to stay with us but it’s just too long winded for me to go into detail. My sister and her partner now have shared custody of the children living in separate houses they can’t be together because he allowed her to abuse the children, that may have changed now and they may be back together I don’t know, I hope they have learned from their mistakes and are living happily and giving those kids the life they deserve but the whole point of me writing this post was because I feel lost my whole family don’t speak to me I’ve lost my mum dad 3 sisters 3 nieces (the eldest was like my own I cared for her since the minute she was born her mum went out for days and days whilst I looked after her baby and we had the most amazing auntie and niece bond U could ever imagine, my home was her home) my nan grandad aunties cousins they all have cut me off, I have no job, I have no motivation left, no fight, I now get social anxiety I just cry all the time and never want leave the house I feel like 20 people who I love have all just died at once I sometimes think I’d be better off going far away where no1 knows me Because it hurts me so much to think I’ve made such a misery of my partners life and hate him seeing me so upset all the time I just want to move on and be happy but I don’t know how to because my whole life I’ve always been happy from helping others ( mainly my sister and her children) I don’t know how to put myself first and think of me for once and if I don’t know how to do that I’m going to be stuck in this horrible horrible rut forever and will end up on my own with no1 at all not even my partner and he deserves a happy life he’s such an amazing man who has held my hand through all of it I just want us to be happy and it’s me not letting us how do I get out of this hell hole 😭
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