Hi can I have a private post please. Really need some kind advise please ladies…
[ad_1]
Hi can I have a private post please.
Really need some kind advise please ladies.
So I’ll start from the beginning. At the age of 16 I miscarried my daughter and then at 17 miscarried my son. I wanted nothing more then to be a mum and I was over the moon both times. I understand I was so young and some may say not ready but I knew I finally had something to keep me going . I suffer from numerous mental illnesses which doesn’t help me current situation. I was silly and didn’t use protection. But after losing 2 I thought i had failed as a woman and couldn’t have kids and beat myself up about it and got it in to my head it just wouldn’t happen for me. BTW I’m not saying If you can’t have children you ever failed I’m just stating how I felt. Anyway I’m now pregant.. because of previous miscarriages I’ve had so many scans and everything is good but not once have I smiled at the scans I’ve not managed to get excited. I wanted to get rid and I know that sounds horrible and trust me I never thought I’d hear myself say it as I was so against it but I knew I wasn’t ready this time. Me and the father aren’t together he’s an absolute nightmare and a horrible human so I didn’t think it was fair to bring a baby into all that. But my mum guilt tripped me and said this could be my last chance to have kids which it kind of it tbh. I said I would keep it but my mum would have to be there at all times because I knew I wasn’t ready and am absolutely terrified about being a mum. She agreed. She’s gone out and brought all this baby stuff and I just don’t want any of it. It’s all too much and I’m finding myself having break downs daily about all this. I tried to explain to her how I felt but she’s having non of it. My family have been amazing and they keep reassuring me I will be an amazing mum but I know I’m not ready. All anyone ever talks about is the baby and I feel like I’m just carrying it. I’ve completely lost myself and I’m so overwhelmed. I’ve felt baby kick ect but it’s still not changed my mind about it all. Can someone please tell me I’m not the only one who has felt like this and that it does get better. Because to be totally honest I’m shitting myself that I’m going to fail as a mother and my child is going to hate me. It doesn’t help that I’m doing it alone apart from my mum. Some friendly advise is seriously needed. Thank you x
[ad_2]
Source