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Hi can I have some advice please? It’s quite raw so keeping it private…. I’ve…

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Hi can I have some advice please? It’s quite raw so keeping it private….
I’ve recently left a violent relationship. He done everything from slap and punch me to strangle me till I nearly passed out, he’s also left me with a permanent scar on my face. I thought I would feel really happy and everything when I left, and I’m not…. I’m on high anti depressants and anxiety tablets, sleeping tablets, there’s a counsellor coming to see me every two days, all my family and friends are constantly checking up on me – and while I fully appreciate it it’s just reminding me of everything I have been through. And I understand this kind of thing really does affect everyone aswell as me but I’m just wanting to forget. I only left him very recently and it was my doctor that arranged the councillor I didn’t want it, I’m just so lost and the truth is I still love him, would never go back but I’m still in love with him. I don’t really know what I need advice on either I’m just completely lost 😭😭
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