Hi, please would you do me a post? Thanks Hi lovely ladies.. hoping someone ca…

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Hi, please would you do me a post? Thanks

Hi lovely ladies.. hoping someone can help. I am stuck, I don’t know what to do.

This is a REALLY long post so if you stick with it I really appreciate it.

I am 22+4 weeks pregnant. I have not been ridiculously unwell, but I have been well. I have probably had abut 4 weeks off in total. So I have been working 18/22 weeks I’ve been pregnant.

Just for some background.. I work in the NHS so it is a demanding job. We are always on our feet and busy. It’s out patients so mostly I work 8-4, M-F. Occasional nights and weekends to help on the ward we are attached to.

Previous to knowing I was pregnant I had been looking to leave because something v serious happened towards the end of last year (I was not directly involved) and it changed the whole atmosphere and it is now a very horrible place to work.
I was offered a job one week and accepted.. told my bosses. Pre employment checks began. The following week I found out I was pregnant. Again I told them straight away. This is when all the trouble began.

I started suffering with morning sickness and had 3 days off. manager ‘advised’ me to hand my notice in now (before I had my new offer in writing so it was not confirmed) so they wouldn’t have to be affected by my sicknesses. Was also told I need to get my morning sickness ‘under control’.. because that’s possible!?

I then found out that in the maternity policy at the new trust that I may or may not be entitled to return to work after maternity leave because my contract would expire during maternity leave. (It was a fixed term contract which is standard in clinical trials where I work). 99.9% you will be renewed, but due to this policy I could not be sure that I would be renewed, and I decided I could not risk that, so I have to decline the new job. Told my managers as soon as I had decided.

Anyway.. I carried on.. had some sickness here and there. This probably totalled 2 weeks. I started feeling a bit better, morning sickness subsided. But by this point, my bump is starting to grow and I get more and more tired.

I was rota’d on to nights and I asked if it was possible to swap my nights with someone else as I felt I was too tired to complete them at this time. They allowed me to swap off the nights but sent me to Occupational health, and said I was not fulfilling the roles of my contract.
I was later told this is not true however because I work in out patients, not on a ward. The maternity policy also states that reasonable adjustment must be made for pregnant employees and included night work. So I felt they were threatening me. My contract renewal was coming up and I was so worried that I called HR to check how they determined contract renewal, was unlikely to be let go?? They confirmed I would not be let go for this.

So then by this point I am 16 weeks. Managers have know for like 10 weeks and they finally get round to doing my risk assessment (I suspect only because OH reported back to them that they had to do it since it should be done within 4 weeks of their notification if pregnancy).. So they do the risk assessment. I say that I need to be able to sit down more often. Manager just goes ‘but why?’. I say because I am pregnant and tire easily and the dr has advised not to stand for long periods of time. She continues to just say… ‘but why?’, like she is not understanding me. I said everyone needs to sit from time to time, we’re humans! I felt she did not listen to me as she says oh well let’s come back to that one. I am baffled… she is a registered nurse for goodness sake! Then on the next page she reads in the assessment book that pregnant women should be allowed to sit down frequently. So she has to cave. I am baffled at this point, I thought this was basic common knowledge for most people let alone a nurse??

I then ask if I can take 10 of my 30 min break in the morning to have breakfast, as I often feel sick in the mornings and can’t eat till later.. then by that point I am at work and absolutely starving my lunch time. I was told I can’t do that. Again this is something that the risk assessment stated that PW may need to be able to eat more frequently due to sickness, etc.. still refused.

I asked to be put on smaller clinics or to use help on bigger clinics on the days that I feel tired and unwell, to help me manage, but I was told they couldn’t do this as it looks like favouritism.. this is also in the risk assessment.

The next week I am sitting in the corridor on a chair, and I get called in to the office for a ‘catch up’. They say ‘what’s the problem?’ And I’m like .. I don’t know I don’t have a problem, you called me up here? So they tell me a colleague (I know who it was) has complained because I sit in the corridor. I was so frustrated by this point.. I knew who it was because there are two trouble makers who are up and down the stairs like a whores knickers to complain about bloody anything (to the point even the managers have complained they are up there too much!) and one of them wasn’t in that day so only left one person. So I said as you know, I am allowed to sit down as and when I need to. I am completing my work and not falling behind so I don’t think it is an issue. Manager says well it looks bad to colleagues.. I said not to be disrespectful but I do not care what it looks like to colleagues. I care what my Dr has advised and about what my baby and body needs. They all know I am pregnant. What concerns me more is that you felt the need to challenge me as opposed to telling the colleague that it is not her concern. They back down after this and I have not heard about chairs since..

A few weeks pass with no drama. I am struggling more and more and begin to feel like I need a break. I go to the managers and suggest a few ideas that can help me cope with my growing bump.. for example, dropping my hours, soon longer days to have an extra rest day.. doing some more admin-y jobs… all are rejected. I am referred to OH again instead. I am fed up and exhausted. The next day I call in sick and call my Dr. They offer for me to have a sick note. I go to see my managers and tell them I have been offered a sick note. THEN things start turning around. They put me on smaller clinics and give me early lunches.. it lasts a few days and it’s back to normal so I get a sick note and use it.

I returned about 2 days ago. During he time I’ve been off I kept having dizzy sick spells. On Wed of the first week in back I had another dizzy sick spell. I was already in the building so I go to tell them I don’t feel well enough today. Manager says why what’s wrong with you, we are too busy today for you to be off. At this point I have only 4/5 weeks before I am off for a month (AL) and then go directly onto maternity leave, so I suggest using some of my remaining annual leave to break up my lasts weeks so I can be well rested on the days I do come in. This is ignored and I’m told to go away and come back later.

So I go away and I call my Dr.. every time I make a suggestion to help us both it is ignored and I felt at this point if they will not cooperate I will not come in. Dr signs me off again immediately for another 2 weeks. I go pick up the note then I go via HR for advice, because I felt like there is no point in discussing this with my managers anymore! I feel like they don’t listen to me. I understand they have to think about their department, but I have to think about my baby.

So following HR, they suggest two options…
1. Leave sick note with them to pass it on. Go on sick leave, and probably not come back until my AL & mat starts.
2. Go to speak to managers and lay it out on the table what I need. Try to sort something out and if they can’t go on sick.

So I went to go to speak to them. I wanted to do everything I could as an employee to sort something out even though I think mentally I have already checked out and don’t believe they will help me.
I suggest the AL to break up the week again. They say they will look in to it and then they say ‘so can you work this afternoon ?’ I am like ‘NO! I told you I don’t feel well.’ Mentally I am like ffs! And this makes me feel I was to go on sick.

Anyway so today I get a call from them – I am off today – they have arranged a meeting for tomorrow at 8am. Manager says I presume you are working tomorrow. I said no it depends on what the outcome of the meeting is before I decide if I am using my sick note or not. Her presumption again pisses me off. I have said to them I would rather finish working if I can but I need to know they will listen to me if I need them to. And even just the conversations I’ve had with them over these two days tell me they won’t!

So I have to go to this meeting tomorrow…
I can’t decide what to do. I don’t know what they will say, but I presume I am left with two options:
To go on sick leave and not come back until all my leave begins.
To go back to work for the last 5 weeks, using AL to have Wednesdays off so I can rest mid week and keep going.

I feel obligated to go back to work. But I don’t trust them not to continue with what they keep doing to me so far.
They have massive staffing issues because of how they treat people. If they struggle without me it’s because of that! I told them it’s not my concern.. I need to think about my baby. Just the thought of going in and seeing them makes me so anxious and makes me want to tell them to stick it! I dread it.
I am bored AF at home.. feel guilty when I am not in.. but I don’t know if I can even cope with being there even just for 5 weeks.

Just don’t know what to do. My friends at work (two of who who has left bc of the absolute crap it is there, and the other who is on long term sick with stress because of it) all say I should think of myself I am being too nice and you know nothing will improve. But I am wondering if they are too close to the situation because of how they were treated..

Ugh! So stuck.. what would you do?

And if you HAVE read this far you are an angel! Thank you!
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