Hiya Can I have a private post please? I will try and give you some history bef…

[ad_1]
Hiya
Can I have a private post please?
I will try and give you some history before the problem so please bear with me.
Im a single mum of two boys 10 and 4, and I work full time I separated from my husband last November (my decision due to lots of reasons but he wasn’t happy about my decision) he’s now with someone new and living with here, I have since found out that there was a cross over in the relationships but I’m not really that bothered.
Since the split the kids have been seeing their dad 3 weekends out of 4, and he’s been a good dad to them, but things are still very frosty with me which I get, and things can be very up and down. Also his new Mrs is not really a very well women, she has seizures throughout the day and night, and isn’t really allowed out on her own due to these and she’s on a lot of medication, my ex is a lorry driver so spends two – three nights out a week and works long hours.
Anyway we moved house about 3 weeks ago, back to my old area where friends who are family are and near people who love us, there was lots of reasons for us doing this but I discussed it with both kids and they were both really happy to do the move.
We were here a week and my sons went to their dads for the weekend, come the Sunday my eldest said he didn’t want to go home, I was devastated and still am, but I love him and didn’t want him to be unhappy at home so after I went round to their dads and discussed it I agreed that he could stay for two weeks and then he would come home, I’ve rung him every night and he’s been fine apart from the ex’s girlfriend having bad days as she puts it where the seizures are really bad, but they have been to the shops everyday where they both cross a very busy road and I’ve been worried sick that she will have a fit and my son will be all on his own and not know what to do, he’s only 10 and I feel my ex treats him like and adult and thinks he can cope with this, over the last two weeks it’s been me and my little one and I’ve missed my eldest so much and so has his little brother, I also broke up with a guy I was seeing cause he wasn’t supportive over the whole thing so it’s been a very up and down two weeks for me.
Anyway last night my eldest came home, and I was so pleased ,I put my youngest to bed as normal and we sat down for a chat, I asked him why he didn’t want to be here and was there anything I could do to make things better, he got upset and said he misses his dad and his girlfriend, and that he didn’t like the guy I was seeing, I explained that it was over and I’m going to be single but that didn’t mean me and his dad were getting back together which he said he understood, he said some things which really upset me but I’m the adult and I will get over it, I just want my sons to be happy.
Anyway my ex said to him that he can try it for a week and if he doesn’t like it he can go back, I’ve said a week is nothing and I don’t think he can make the right choice in that time.
I would like some advise on what to do please be nice,
I don’t want my son to be unhappy living here with me, but I don’t want him living there either and to mention in all of this my ex has categorically said that it’s my eldest only and my youngest stays with me, which I have said just isn’t fair as they are brothers and should be together and I’m worried my youngest is feeling left out and in later life it will affect him thinking his dad didn’t want him.
So what do I do? Should I get the courts involved and go for shared care? If so how do I do that? And will I get in trouble for allowing my son to go and stay at theirs where his new girlfriend faints all the time?
I’m just so scared about loosing my son and my ex if I’m honest seems hell bent on hurting me and he’s doing this for amusement I think as he keeps laughing and making jokes when we are talking about it and doesn’t seem to take it seriously.
He’s also told me several times that he wants me back and this new lady is only temporary and he’s told mutual friends of this also.
I know it’s a complicated story but any advice would be appreciated and please please be nice xx
[ad_2]

Source