I am struggling. really struggling. God knows I love my kids but I am just not c…
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I am struggling. really struggling. God knows I love my kids but I am just not coping with them. I had really bad post natal with my first who is now five and I worry that the bond was never properly established… She is also extremely hyper active and doesn’t listen – very hard work. I now have a baby as well who despite being a year old still wakes 3 or 4 times a night. I am exhausted. Is it terrible to say that I hate having to look after them when they’re small? the endless, exhausting, monotonous life that comes with raising small children? I hate it. I have no career now, no freedom, no peace! My husband works nights 6 days a week so he is unable to help with the kids or the house… I never really see him and sleep alone every night… Everything has gotten on top of me. My house is a state most of the time, I have no energy, I know I should do more with the kids, go to the park etc but I just randomly burst into tears and i’ve begun to have anxiety attacks out of no where, i’ve lost a lot of weight.. I just want to crawl into bed and stay there forever. I suppose I just need someone to tell me that it gets easier when they’re older. Or that it’s okay and some women just aren’t naturally cut out for raising small children and when they’re older that will be my time to shine… I don’t know. I just see all of these perfect mothers outside the school gates who seem to really have their shit together and here I am walking around like a zombie scarecrow just feeling lonely and like a failure and I just can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel right now tbh. I need some advice. No bashing please it’s pointless – if you’ve nothing nice to say then don’t say anything at all.
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please can you reply to my post? I’m absolutely overwhelmed by the support you have all shown me, thank you so much. It means the world to me to know that i’m not just a terrible mum and actually there are other women who feel the same as me. I think I will go and speak to the Dr. thank you xxx
I too had severe PND and despite loving my children more than anything found the younger years incredibly tough. You could go to the GP and try medication. I personally didn’t find it a miracle cure. Can you try going out to baby groups, little walks, ask the GP about getting referred to cmht and getting a Cpn to talk to. Can you sleep in the day if baby sleeps. Cut yourself some slack, you’re amazing. It does get better, mine are 9 and 12 now and are totally awesome. Any chance you could get hubby to have lo for a few hours whilst you get a break, easier said than done I know. Maybe try one different think each day to change it up a bit. Contact your local children’s centre. Best wishes.
I think you’ll find that if you could see into these “perfect mom’s” live they struggle just like all of us do being a mom is danm hard work and i have days where i could easily just pack the kids off to someone else and happily not bother with them for a few day or a week or two. As long as you’re kids are fed loved and clean there is nothing to worry about we may see ourselves as failing but our kids don’t see that they see how hard we try and the small fun moments and the kisses and cuddles and the bedtime stories and the stupid o’clock comfort. Although i will say maybe go see you doctor to help you deal with the anxiety and it does sound as though you may be a little depressed which is nothing to be ashamed of like i said kids are danm hard work and the fact that you get out of bed every day for them and try means you are doing your best for them and trying go mamma bear don’t be scared to ask for help from your doctor it’s more common than you know for moms to feel this way xxxx feel better soon xxx
I look forward to going to work to escape 4 few hours. Parenting isnt easy. I had an operation in january and had to have 4 weeks off work… i was ready rip my hair out. Honest going 2 work to literally earn minium wage 4 5 hours a day 4 days a week. Keeps me sane. Do something for yourself go college if your not working get a part time job. Ull get help with costs. Chin up no ones perfect xx
No such thing as a perfect mum! We all lose our patientance sometimes and we all struggle sometimes too, hang on in there and don’t be so hard on yrself raising kids is hard work! There’s a cracking page on fb of a women who’s inspirational called part time working mum check it out as she talks a lot about daily struggles and it really does make u realise yr not alone x
There’s no such thing as prefect parents we all are loosing are shit at some stage mine where better small then they are now age 4 and 6 they constantly argue lol.. I would suggest seeing your doctor tho and talk to someone.. Try get a family member to have ur children and go out with some friends one evening it is very hard work raising small children with a not very big age gapx
We all feel like this at times honey. More so wen doing it alone all the time. Have u spoken to doc or hv about how ur feeling honey maybe a wee antidepressant wld help perk u up some. Nobody is perfect at parenting even if it seems they look like they are. Xx
Some women really do dislike the years of early childhood. They’re demanding, exhausting and thankless. And you can spend days without talking to any adults which can make it feel like you’re locked into childcare and that’s all that your life is about now. If you’ve got depression as well when this is happening, it’s practically guaranteeing you hatred of your life.
Yes, you may well find it much easier when they’re older and you can hold a decent conversation with them. I know plenty of mums that prefer the 10-16 stage rather than 0- 10. It doesn’t make you a bad parent. It might mean you need some extra support but that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Far better that you ask for support and get it than ignore the issue and have everyone just a bit miserable.
Often feel this way Hun and hope it gets easier I have 4 8 and under wares me out , I think day by day must be key although it’s hard some more than others chin up Hun x
Even the ones that appear to have their shit together, really don’t. It’s ok to cry, to scream, to want to run off. From the sound of your post it’s almost like you’ve lost your identity. Youre just ‘mum’. Do you have any family support? Someone to have the little ones maybe just for a couple of hours so you can indulge in a favourite hobby? I find keeping an honest diary has helped me. It also sounds as though you need to visit your GP babe, without the shitty feeling of you’ll be judged, because you won’t. Dont compare yourself to others. I have a friend who calls me ‘supermum’, when in reality in my sons younger years I’ve sat in the field, rocking myself, crying. Keep your chin up babe. My inbox is open xx
If you took them to the park it would do you and them a world of good, the fresh air and getting out the house would make you feel better and the kids can burn off energy instead of being cooped up in the house
Hiya hun I’m exactly the same I love my kids dearly but have postnatal depression also I have my good days and bad inbox me if u need a chat hun I’m always on the other end x
All those “perfect mothers” aren’t perfect as there’s no such thing as a perfect mum! Everyone has good and bad times. I bet your a fab mum and your just putting yourself down! So.. head up girl, you’ve got this 👍🏼❤️
Can this mum please inbox me if you wanna chat scream shout anything you shouldn’t be feeling like this alone xxx
Smile princess xx